A lot has changed in the past year and it's been months since I've talked about an event that changed me.

It's been months since I've had flashbacks or thoughts about that version of me. It's been a roller coaster ride, a ride I'll never forget.

Most people think nothing of August 30. To them, it's just another day, but for me, I lost a part of myself that I will never get back. I even remember the exact time: 2 a.m. And as that time was creeping up, memories flooded back. Tears fell down my face for what felt like hours.

I haven't said these words in awhile: one year ago, I was sexually assaulted.

I struggled for months trying to regain my sense of safety and erase the paranoia that night brought on. I suffered and my grades did, as well.

2017 brought better grades, new friends, and fewer thoughts of that night. Looking back on myself, I was a naive freshman taken advantage of my first week at school.

I refused to move schools and let him win. I love Marist and I wasn't going to let anyone take that away from me, not him or old friends.

The investigation and healing process wasn't easy. At times, I wanted to give up, thinking that maybe it was my fault and maybe I did deserve what happened.

Somehow, I found the strength inside of me to push through and keep going. Just looking at my right wrist and seeing the word Strong carved into my skin reminds me of my inner strength.

The first anniversary is hard and the next few will be, as well. Letting myself feel so many emotions wasn't easy, but holding them inside is harder to do. So I let the tears flow just as I had August 30, 2016.

Except these tears were different. These tears were letting the pain go and freeing myself from the memories.

Last night, I took a step forward. I had my day of painful memories, but now it's time for me to keep on living no matter how tough it can be.

That night doesn't define me and I won't let it hold me back from achieving my dreams. That night belongs in the past along with all my fears of retaliation or being sexually assaulted again. I'm stronger than I was a year ago and that strength got me through last night.

Accepting that I can't change what happened has helped me keep going. There are days when the flashbacks come and bring all the pain of that night back. But those days have dwindled significantly over the course of the past year.

One year ago, I let that night define me. Today, I am not that night.