I never had a choice to become an older sister. For a good decade, I was always the youngest of the family.

I remember at the age of 10, my parents told my sister and I that they had big news. They requested that my sister and I make a list of possible scenarios. At such a young age, I remember guessing that we were buying a trampoline or getting another dog. Having a new sibling never crossed my mind. Within a year, I had a new sister.

I easily remember seeing my baby sister at the hospital and being super nervous to hold her. I didn’t want to drop her. I was so excited, yet I had no idea what I was in for.

Although I was only 10, I was not a stranger to changing diapers or feeding her. I was another family member who helped put her to bed when she was crying. I remember how sore my arms would become after carrying her around the house in hopes to make her fall asleep. I can still hear her piercing voice every time she cried. She cried, and still cries, so much. Regardless, I loved her so much. I was so happy to have a younger sister who could show me a glimpse of adulthood. She brought me out of my shell and made me laugh so effortlessly.

Two years later, I realized that I was completely clueless to actual adulthood. Despite having matured through her development, I had no idea what I was in for especially when I received news that I was going to have a new baby brother. This time I was a little uneasy. Selfishly, I couldn’t look past myself. I envisioned all of the additional hang outs I would miss because I was taking care of my siblings. I thought about how much louder my family car rides were going to be. I dreaded having to wake up early all over again. I was so ignorant and unappreciative of the delight that was going to come into my family. Naturally trying to be considerate and caring, I did my best to be there for my younger siblings. After all, I did love them.

A couple of years passed, and I no longer needed to try to be happy. I felt so fortunate to have two younger siblings filled with so much love and energy. I became ecstatic as my siblings began to mold into their own unique, goofy forms. Of course, they always looked up to me no matter how many times I kicked them out of my room or made them finish their food.

Now, I wouldn’t trade it for the world. My high school years were filled with family and friends. As a new chapter of my life is quickly approaching, I am able to realize how much I love them. Perhaps when I was 12 I loved them by blood, but now I love them unconditionally.

Almost every morning I wake up to my siblings crying at the breakfast table begging to be excused from eating the crusts off their toast, but I can’t ignore the multiple occasions that I have been woken up from the smell of tea and breakfast by my bedside thanks to my little sister whose heart is so beautiful.

Regardless of how loud and how early they wake me up, the days when I wake up to silence are nothing compared to these kind of mornings. I drive my siblings everywhere. I try to savor the comfort my brother takes with how often he falls asleep in the car. I crank up some of my sister’s favorite songs, and we both (shamelessly) sing to them. I am often reminded by how precious they are on nights when they have bad dreams and come to me first, or when their innocence makes someone’s day.

My brother will never admit to having a favorite family member. “I love everyone on this Earth” he will say as he, willingly, gives me a hug and kiss before I leave out the door. My little sister shows very apparent signs of selflessness. She compliments others, always gives her last piece of gum away, and says please and thank you.

Somehow, we never get enough of each other. In fact, just as I was writing this last paragraph, my little brother came into my room giggling as he showed off his faux mohawk. I wake up excited to hug and kiss them good morning. Due to my obnoxiousness, they eventually push me away, but not too persistently because deep down they love the affection.

In my mind, I try to take credit for their favorable traits, but I know I can’t be the reason of their good nature. They continue to amaze me with how pure and innocent they are.

Barely in middle school, I didn’t realize how much of a role I would have been on their growth.

Now, I realize how much of a role they have had on my growth.

I am forever grateful.