The Holiday Season is here, and every student is experiencing certain mixed feelings about it. On the one hand, it's Christmas break, meaning the semester is over and we don't have stress out about homework or tests, we can just nap and eat. On the other hand, holidays means family reunions, parties, and dinners.
Don't get me wrong, a family is the greatest thing God has given you, but sometimes they tend to ask either too many irrelevant questions or too many awkward and annoying ones. So, whenever your grandma or your aunt sits next to you and asks you one of the overly asked ,cliché, "I haven't seen you in two months" questions, here are a few things you can say to either make them feel uncomfortable or let them know how you really feel without really saying anything.
1. "How's School?"
Ah yes, the dreaded question. Do you lie and say everything's great? Are you honest and say; "you know, hanging there"? No, either of these answers would only lead to more questions, so rather than saying a simple answer, say one of these:
a. I'm not quite sure, I'm still trying to figure out what I've hallucinated from sleep deprivation and what has been real.
b. Great! I'll be ready to quit and be a stripper any day now.
c. Not really what I expected, God is rarely the answer in my tests.
d. The most important thing is that I have my health.
2. "Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?"
If you're straight, just say:
(Girl) a. "No, I have a girlfriend."
- .....
"LOL JK"
(If you're a guy, just say boyfriend.)
b. No, but neither do you and you're 40 so I think I'm doing okay.
c. Yes, I have a very committed relationship to my Netflix account.
d. Not really, but I've ordered Domino's so much lately I'm practically dating the delivery guy.
3. "You've gained some weight.."
If you're a girl, just go ahead and say:
a. I'm pregnant.
If that seems too extreme say:
b. Thanks, I'm trying to look like you.
c. Well, I feel like a potato so I just figured I should look like one too.
d. Yeah, well, taco bell sells tacos for a dollar. Salads cost 8. If you're interested in paying for my food, I'd be down for it.
4. "So, What are you majoring in?"
a. Well, I'm planning on taking an exotic dancing class so when I quit to become a stripper, I'll be ready.
b. Oh, nothing. I'm working at McDonald's right now.
c. I am majoring in Netflix right now. I think I'll minor in awesomeness later.
5. "What are you going to do with that major?"
a. Sleep.
b. I'll probably just try and get a job, fail at it, and then pursue another career that has nothing to do with it. Sort of like you did.
If you happen to be far away from home, they could ask:
6. "So how's it like down/up there?"
a. It's funny, I always thought hell would be warmer.
Don't get me wrong, the family is great, but some family member tends to either have way too high expectations of you or way too little. Some family members just ask these questions because they're worried about you, or they miss you and want to know how life is going. They ask having no idea these are the questions we least want to answer and the topics we really don't feel like talking about.
So, next time you're struggling in a family reunion, dinner, or a party, just say;
Well, enough about me. Let's talk politics!
And, trust me, no one will be asking you any annoying questions again.
