My nerves were shot to hell the entirety of Tuesday waiting on the presidential election to get over! I watched from around 6 p.m. to 2:30 a.m., and the entire time I had clammy hands and a nervous soul. Hillary would rise, Hillary would fall. Trump would rise, Trump would fall. I felt like pulling my hair out I was so nervous. I hoped for the best all night and in reality, in the end, the complete opposite is what I got.
A million emotions ran through my body when they announced Donald Trump as our next president. I felt each and every emotion hit me at that moment and right now, I still don't know how to comprehend them. I'm disappointed mostly, but I'm also angry, sad, mad, scared, pissed, relieved that it's over, anxious for the future, nervous, and so many more emotions that I've yet to discover. The only question that has stuck in my head this entire time is, what will happen next? What does my future as a young, black girl look like? I don't know what to think nor do I know what to do next, and it sucks that I have to fear my safety in a country that claims the land of the free. I am fearful for my family, friends, the LGBTQ community, Muslims, Mexican's and so many others. I feel like we have come so far, and now we have no choice but, to drop down and attempt to live our everyday lives with no fear. It breaks my heart and leaves me in tears knowing that I'm not the only one scared, though. I saw on Twitter where Muslims were warning their daughters not to wear their hijabs, which are traditional items that one is directed to never be seen without. Black mothers are warning their black sons to watch their surroundings because they never know what will happen. Mexican's are somewhere fearful of deportation, while all girls are afraid of sexual actions towards them. I felt like I was making a change, a change that would be in the favor of everyone. It was my first time voting and I just knew I was getting ready to vote for the very first woman to be elected as our president! We had the power to make the change and save our country, and I knew we could do it.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that Trump is not a good candidate, but from the looks of his campaign, he isn't for everyone. Hopefully, he will build a bridge and heal this divide we are suffering from right now. While writing this, I came to the conclusion that there is nothing I can do now. We have to stay positive about the entire situation, stand together for what we believe in, and love one another. I pray to God that what we all think will happen, won't. I just wish that I wasn't so devastated and fearful, but I will say, I am hopeful for the best.
"We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope."
-Martin Luther King, Jr.
