Dear Emilie,

I’m almost done with college and I’m super stressed about the next step. I feel very pressured by my family, even though they are very supportive, and those around me. I know I have to go to grad school, but what if I don’t make it? What if I get rejected? I don’t know what I’d do in the meantime. I know that stressing out isn’t helping anything but I just don’t know what to do. Can you help?

First, take a deep breath. Everything is going to work out and you are absolutely correct. Stressing out is not going to help you and it may negatively impact you in ways that you don’t even realize. Your sleep patterns and eating habits can be affected because of stress, causing your immune system to weaken and you can get sick. Being ill on top of worrying about school is not a winning combination. What helps me when I am stressed out is to write everything down. You know you have to go to grad school, so make a list of possible schools, application deadlines, admission requirements, and all of the important information you need to know. You won't know that you'll get rejected if you haven’t even applied yet!

If you are worried about your grades, you could always take some easier classes in your major to boost your GPA. Graduate school isn’t just grades though. If you are doing volunteer work and have internships related to what you want to do in the future, this will help you for your next step. Getletters of recommendation from your advisors and mentors who will show that you not only put in the effort, but you made a difference and stood out. Having the grades, experience and letters of recommendation will help you on your path. Plus, if you get your applications in early, it will be helpful when hearing back. If you do get rejected, don’t panic. There are lots of options for what to do during a gap year. Job shadowing or interning can keep you busy while you prepare to try again.

If your family is stressing you out, it is best to let them know. You are the one feeling all of this pressure to succeed and the added stress from your family can only make things worse. If they are behind you and just giving you a push in the right direction, this will be much more productive. ButParents can only push their kids so much before it turns out to be more hurtful than helpful. I am sure you are a good kid that tried hard and has a good head on their shoulders. Your parents can see that they did a good job raising you and showing you the way.

My dear readers, college is arguably the best four years of your life, but after that, what’s next? For some of us, it is a full time job and moving out on our own for the first time. For others, it is continuing our education. Whatever it may be, being prepared and knowing where you have to go can help you to get through the end of your undergraduate career stress free so that you can enjoy the time you have left making memories with your friends. Relax and be confident in yourself and everything else will fall into place.

XOXO, Emilie

If you want to send in your questions to get advice, you can email me at emilie-harris@uiowa.edu. The identity of anyone seeking advice is kept confidential!