I grew up in a family that is notorious for turning pain into humor. Now, this has turned out to be both a blessing and a curse. On one hand, I never take myself too seriously. On the other, I’ve heard that my humor can be quite intimidating at times. What’s worse is that I’ve grown to find it even funnier when people are unsettled by the darker jokes I make. After all, nothing silences a room like a dead dad joke.
I find that laughing is a great substitute for crying. You see, no one likes to talk about the sad stuff. I mean, why would they? Talking about the good stuff, it just feels so good, you know? In turn, no one likes it when you’re sad all the time. I realized this at a very young age, and so I did what I had seen my family members do so many times before. I laughed about it.
Whenever I was sad, I made a joke about it and suddenly people started laughing. There’s just something about hearing people laugh that is a bit more appealing than having to deal with everyone telling you how sorry they are. It just felt like pity; salt in an open wound. When I joke about it, though, I don’t have to hear about how they can’t imagine what I’m going through. When I joke about it, they’ll first tell me not to make such jokes. They’ll act offended and still claim to be sorry for me, but then they always laugh. Whether it’s fake or not, they laugh. And when they laugh I can pretend for just a second that everything is fine.
Sometimes I find that this habit of mine comes in handy. Sometimes I meet someone who is just like me. Someone who truly understands why my I make jabs at my own existence. Someone who is all too familiar with my punchlines. They say that laughter is the best medicine, and I agree with them. Laughter can make anything feel easy-going. Why else would we laugh when we’re nervous? I make jokes about things that you shouldn’t make jokes about.
I figure that as long as you laugh, no one will have time to tell you how sorry they are for your loss. As long as you laugh, no one will stop to ask you if you need to talk about it. As long as you’re laughing, people like you. As long as you’re laughing, nobody questions the tears.
After all, sometimes we just laugh so hard we cry.
