I’ve never let people walk all over me. I have always been one to vocalize my feelings if I think they have been stepped on. This has both helped and hurt me when it came to the different relationships in my life. I’ve lost friends in the process of standing up for myself. I’ve said things I probably shouldn’t have to ensure I wasn’t being mistreated. I’ve made mistakes, I haven’t always articulated what I wanted to say correctly, and with each passing year I realize the different ways I could’ve handled those situations.

But I can live with that.

I can live with the relationships that dissolved as a result of me speaking the truth. I can live with the loss of a friendship that was doing nothing but creating stress in my life. I can live with the regret at how things ended, because it was most likely for the best.

What I can’t live with is watching people close to me be treated like a doormat. I am a firm believer that we are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. If we do not think of ourselves as worthy of other people’s respect, than we will never receive the respect and kindness we deserve. Yes, I do believe certain people come into your life for a reason, even if that reason is to teach you exactly what you don’t deserve. That’s why I feel it is essential to be able to determine between the two types of people you encounter in your life: the ones contributing more good than bad, and the ones contributing more bad than good.

I’ve definitely experienced the latter category in my 19 years, and I’m almost positive I’ve fallen in that category for other people. I am far from perfect and I've certainly caused unneeded stress in people’s lives even when it was the last thing I meant to do. It is impossible to be compatible with everyone you cross paths with, and recognizing the incompatibility is never something we like to experience. Weeding out the bad when it starts to outweigh the good is not an easy task, but I strongly believe it is necessary in order to be truly happy.

In order to cut people off and eradicate the negativity from your life, there are some steps that must be taken in preparation. First, you need to sit down and start writing. Evaluate your relationship. What good comes from this friendship? How does this person add light and love to my life? Does he/she truly respect me? Each of these are valuable questions that must be asked before you take action. Next, you need to trust your gut. Don’t stay friends with someone or keep them in your life merely because it’s convenient. Don’t keep someone in your life simply because you’ve known them forever. Friends shouldn’t be grandfathered in. Each day is a new day for people to treat you with the love and respect you deserve; no one should stick around just because they’ve been around forever.

We all deserve to be surrounded by people who make us glad to be alive. Human connection is an intangible treasure and it is impossible to measure the happiness you share when you’ve created a tight knit group of people who raise you up without ever attempting to drag you down. Eliminating the sources of negativity in your life is far from easy, but in the end I know it's worth it.