I’m the type of girl that’s a romantic at heart; I’ve read Pride and Prejudice more times than I can count, I watch cheesy romantic flicks on Friday evenings and I’m a sucker for a good romance story. Still, it always amuses me when people ask me when I intend to date someone and I respond that I’m letting my parents choose my spouse.

It’s irritating when the automatic assumption following this is that my culture or religion or both of them are responsible for this decision. Yes, I’m a proud Muslim-Pakistani-American girl, but that has no bearing on this decision. I could pull up giant lists of girls that are Muslim and Pakistani that have opted for love marriages they have chosen for themselves; is that attributed to culture or religion?

My parents have never demanded that they choose my life partner for me; actually, they’ve always been really open-minded about the subject and urged me to let them know if I was interested in anyone. But, ever since I was a kid, I’ve been resolute that I will let my parents make this decision for me and that has never changed.

Does it seem odd? Maybe to some people, but I’ve grown up in a household that is the product of an arranged marriage and all that nonsense about how arranged marriages are all loveless and forced is frankly, a bunch of B.S. My parents are one of the happiest, most in-love couples I have ever seen and they are my proof of what an arranged marriage can be.

Are some arranged marriages loveless? Are some of them filled with cruelty and oppression and domestic violence and marital rape and every other marital horror imaginable? Of course; but the same could be said of love marriages that aren’t arranged. I don’t mean to demean people who choose to follow the romantic workings of their heart; that sort of love and that sort of marriage are beautiful in their own right.

But I don’t think anyone has the right to look down on me because I believe that I will be happiest in an arranged marriage — that anyone has the right to presume I am heartless or oppressed or an obedient puppy because I am choosing to respect the wishes of my parents in choosing my life partner.

To me, this is a measure of my trust in my parents' judgment; I may be young and reckless and hasty but they are wizened and experienced and they understand the world in a way that it will take me years to learn, if at all. I want a marriage with love and I know that that will take time — but I also want it to be based on mutual respect, and trust.

My parents will, of course, ask for how I feel about any man they consider and the final decision will be mine. But, to me, this decision is one of the greatest decisions of my life and that is why I want my parents to have an active role in it, as well. And my wish is for a marriage that is full of love and all the blessings that make married life blissful.