Spending a lot of time on the Internet, I learn a lot of things. One of these things I have learned recently is the term aromanticism. This term describes people who do not experience romantic attraction towards others. Yes, this is something that exists, and yes, it's as valid as any other orientation that you or anyone else may or may not be aware of. However, there are many misconceptions about aromanticism, because it is not as well-known as other orientations. Here are three annoying stereotypes that I've stumbled across while learning about aromanticism that need to stop.
Stereotype #1: Aromantics are also asexual.
While there are many asexuals who are, in fact, aromantic, there are also plenty of asexuals who do experience romantic attraction. Something to remember: romantic attraction and sexual attraction are not the same thing. Romantic attraction is the desire for a person to be romantically involved with someone else (dating them or engaging in what are usually known as romantic gestures, such as holding hands and kissing), while sexual attraction is the desire for a person to be involved with another sexually. Although they are sometimes felt simultaneously, they can also be felt separately. There can be heterosexual aromantics, homosexual aromantics, bisexual aromantics, and many other types of aromantics.
Stereotype #2: Aromantics do not love.
Because a lot of people tend to recognize romantic love as the only love that "matters," they assume that because aromantics do not experience this kind of love, they cannot love at all. This is far from the truth. Aromantics experience love in the same ways that romantics do--platonic love, with their friends and their families. The relationships aromantics have with their friends and families are just as important as the relationships romantics have with their friends, families, and significant others. Platonic love is just as deep, emotional, and meaningful as romantic love.
Stereotype #3: Aromantics don't experience romantic attraction because they haven't met "the one," or because there is something wrong with them mentally.
This is the most frustrating, because it feeds into the amatonormativity that exists heavily in our society. Amatonormativity is the assumption that romantic relationships are the most important relationships, more important than all other types, and that being in a romantic relationship is a universally shared goal, and something that should be aimed for. This way of thinking, by which a lot of people do tend to think, is extremely toxic, as it sends messages to others that tell them that being romantically involved with someone is the be all, end all, and without a romantic relationship, their life is empty and meaningless, or that they absolutely need someone to complete them. None of these are true. There is nothing wrong with aromantics, and there is no "right person" that will come along for them romantically. Our society seems to push the idea that romance is something that everyone wants and needs, something that is so important, that if there are people who don't want romance (or are even repulsed by it), there is something wrong with them. No one person (not even romantics) need another person to complete them; they are their own person regardless of their relationship status and romantic orientation. In fact, romance is not all it's hyped up to be, and it should never be pushed onto people who are not comfortable with it.
While there are many wonderful celebrations for many different orientations, people shouldn't ignore others that exist because they don't believe in them, or because they aren't as accepted and known as others. Aromanticism is something that needs to be brought to attention just as widely as asexuality and homosexuality. It needs to be accepted and understood, so stupid stereotypes like these can be left where they belong.
In the trash.
