It happens anytime there’s a party, an interview, speaking in public, a work mixer, or even when eating in a public food court. Your chest begins to feel heavy, your palms begin to sweat, and your anxiety and breathing rate increase by the minute.

No matter how you try to calm yourself down, the anxiety doesn’t go away. The fear of being judged or rejected, or worried about making a mistake in front of a group of people you may or may not know becomes overwhelming. It can get to the point where one just wants to leave the social event they’re attending.

It may not seem like a big deal, since most people get nervous or anxious in social events from time to time. However, for those who have social anxiety disorder (SAD), or social phobia, any social interaction outside their comfort zone can be an anxiety-attack inducing event. There are various reasons as to how and why certain individuals develop this disorder.

It can be from a traumatic event in their past, such as being bullied, or having parents that limit their children’s social interaction, thus not allowing them to socially develop. This may be the reason why SAD usually develops in adolescence. Whatever the reason, any one with social anxiety disorder struggles with social events, and does everything in their path to avoid most of them.

This is what separates a person with social anxiety to someone who is shy (people with SAD are often mistaken for being shy). Shy people can acknowledge the fact that they don’t speak a lot in public, and are comfortable with it. They eventually begin to talk more to people they become friends with over time.

Those with SAD have a hard time being comfortable around people they’re not acquainted with, and are not comfortable being at any social event. The root of social phobia revolves around the fear of one being judged or rejected by their peers.

The fear of appearing foolish by saying something someone might not like, or being judged for saying their opinion, or tripping in front of a group of people is heightened in these individuals, to the point where most social events or uncomfortable and not fun.

Some individuals with SAD may fear even being the boring person, or being the only one not having fun. These fears can occur weeks before a social event happens, and this can create an increase of these anxious thoughts.

SAD negatively interferes with an individual’s life, since limited social interaction can lead to missed opportunities, such as promotions at work, or making new friends at a party. Most people with SAD do want to speak to more people and be socially active, but their anxiety gets in the way.

This can lead to other conditions such as low self esteem and depression. However, all is not lost. SAD is medically diagnosable mental condition under the DSM-5 . If properly diagnosed, the best treatment is usually cognitive behavioral therapy, which involves working one one one with a psychologist to create a plan to slowly break away from the anxiety involving any social event.

This usually includes gradually being exposed to more social and public events. Although not always necessary, anti-anxiety medication may be beneficial in combination with the cognitive therapy. Most individuals who are consistent with their cognitive therapy are eventually able to cope with their condition.

As someone who has had SAD since I was around 14, I can attest that it is a real condition. For many years, I didn’t know why the thought of going to a friend’s party made me feel nauseous weeks before it was going to happen. I decided to seek a diagnosis when I was twenty, and got an official one when I was twenty one.

Since I was heavily ridiculed by my peers throughout elementary school, the fear of rejection carried into the new junior high I attended, and the social anxiety kicked in around my freshman year of high school. Some people assumed I was shy, or standoffish and "stuck up". These assumed identities didn't help my social anxiety.

Although I have sought cognitive therapy on and off for five years, it is still something I struggle with. However, I am slowly learning to not be so anxious in social situations.