As a cashier at my local supermarket, I've gained countless ridiculous stories regarding customers and the events that happen. You might not even believe some of the crazy things that happen; I know some of my friends' jaws dropped when I told them a few tales. Sadly, these types of occurrences happen more often than you would think. Below are some of the one-liners that happen nearly on a daily basis that are bound to piss off even the most pleasant of cashiers (even if they don't show it.)

1. "Are you open?"

Nah, I'm just standing behind this register under a lit-up number for no apparent reason. Why else would I be waiting at the register?

2. "You look bored, so I came to your line."

You didn't come to save me from the two minutes I had to catch my breath. You came to my line because it was your quickest ticket out of the store, and I don't blame you for that. Just don't act like you're doing me a favor.

3. "But I'm a regular customer! I shop here every week!"

Congratulations. You know how to prevent starvation by buying food at the supermarket. While your loyalty to the store is appreciated because it keeps the store afloat, nobody cares that you come to shop that often if you're rude. I promise that this line will not help you win any arguments.

4. "It's so nice outside. You should enjoy it."

Thank you for reminding me that I'm missing the most beautiful hours of sunshine by working this 8-hour shift inside. I will most certainly "enjoy" the weather.

5. "Thanks, sweetheart. You're such a good girl."

Am I a dog? Are we messing around in the bedroom? No, so do not call me "good girl." Unless you are a very elderly grandma-type figure, this line just makes you seem extremely creepy.

6. "How could you let my kid buy this toy? I'm not paying for this!!"

Perhaps you should pay more attention to your scheming child instead of blaming the situation on the cashier who is only ringing up the items on the conveyor belt as they're trained to do. Also, items can almost always be voided immediately, so we can easily subtract the few dollars that matchbox car costs from the rest of your order. But thanks for being so polite about it, rude parents of the world.

7. "I know I already paid, but I just found this coupon that I wanted at the bottom of my purse."

There is literally nothing a cashier can do once the transaction has been finalized. It's not like there is a "back" button. Are we supposed to just open the drawer and give out the small amount of money the coupon would have saved every time someone turned in a coupon? Please just go to customer service where they can reimburse you.

8. "Where's the beer section?"

While some stores do carry alcohol depending on their location, most do not. It's called a food store for a reason. If you want liquor, there's a place called the liquor store.

9. Standing in the way to examine every single item on the receipt and thus preventing the next customer from moving forward

This isn't a one-liner, but it's too irritating to be omitted from the list. I understand that money can be tight, people want to get their money's worth, and everyone can make mistakes. Nobody is above making the occasional mistake. I also check my receipts to make sure that everything is correct. I just get out of the way first.

10. "Oh, shoot. I just need one more thing that I forgot to grab. I'll be right back."

By running away in the middle of a transaction, you are holding up the rest of the line. Once starting a transaction, it isn't possible to simply put it on a temporary hold to resume in two minutes. You're making other people wait while you run around the store for ten minutes looking for that specific loaf of bread just because you didn't want to get in the back of the line to pay for it in a separate transaction.

11. "Keep smiling, honey."

It is a part of our job description to be polite and courteous to customers. Don't make it harder by sarcastically rubbing it in.

12. "I want to speak to a manager."

No problem. Let me just ask one of my managers to stop doing the five other things they were doing so that they can tell you the exact same thing I just said. This is even more fun to deal with if you're the manager yourself.

13. While checking if a bill is counterfeit: "It should be fine. I just printed it today!"

This is a terrible joke that just makes you seem like you're up to sketchy business. It's a policy to check money for its validity. I promise it's not your cashier profiling you as a criminal. I also promise that your "comedy" isn't appreciated.

14. "Why did the machine stop me? All I did was scan this peach." - A customer using a self-checkout machine

The stickers on fruit don't even look like barcodes. If you've ever paid any attention while a cashier rings up your order, then you'd notice that cashiers begin to tap the screen to either enter the PLU number or look up the item. Fruits don't just scan...especially those that are measured by weight instead of quantity.

15. "I changed my mind. I don't want this anymore."

It's just great that you couldn't decide you didn't want that before you reached the final stop in your shopping trip. It's even better that you couldn't put it back where you found it before you reached the front of the store. We just love having more items that need to be reshelved.

16. After telling the customer the total: "Will you take less?"

This store is a chain, not an auction house. You don't pick the prices. Either pay the correct amount for your items, or don't buy them at all.

17. And the ever so famous one-liner that speaks for itself: "If it doesn't scan, it must be free!"

Sorry, but if you do any, or most of, these things...your cashier is almost definitely judging you.