Although we are taught that no one is perfect from a young age, we are often criticized for the things that are wrong, different or make us stand out. No one is the same, and everyone needs to understand that we all have differences that make us human. From the beginning of our lives, we are encouraged to live up to the expectations of others, but, often, we fall short of doing so which might make us ashamed or remorseful. Differences are what make life exciting; if everyone was the same, there would be no purpose in life. We would all look exactly the same, do exactly the same things and even think the same; we would all be uniform. Yet, from such young ages, children are taught to “fit in” and peer pressured into being the same. We are pressured to have the perfect attitude, the perfect diet, the perfect body, the perfect opinions and even the perfect intelligence level. From day one, we are taught to be a certain way and if we stray from that view of the perfect person, we are considered to be deviant.
Social norms are basically the “normal”, average or popular social behaviors or what is accepted in societies today. Social norms have changed over the years, but we all have these somewhat subconscious views of what people should do or how they should act. The reason these seem to be subconscious thoughts is because from the beginning of our lives, we are taught what is acceptable and what is unacceptable. We are taught to treat people that are different than us differently than someone that is similar to us.
In grade school, everything was much easier. The biggest disagreements were over things like who got to be line leader or what color was the best or who was the fastest. Although kids might disagree on little issues like these, they also accept others for their ideas because they are too innocent for this world. When you hit middle school, things get a little more complex. Instead of these small problem, more problematic situations arise and cliques start to form.
Middle school is when people become really smart or athletic. In middle schools, more people are ostracized for being different. I remember bullying starting in middle school more frequently because of someone being different. For instance, there was a kid that used to like drawing and he wasn’t really athletic or very interest in his studies, and, because of what kids learn from others, he was ostracized and people made fun of him. Looking back at it, the reason he was made fun of was such a little thing. He was considered “socially deviant” because he wasn’t athletic or interested in his studies, yet he couldn’t have been the only one. I think back to his drawings and I realize now that he was an amazing artist. I, for one, didn’t make fun of him, but I also didn’t stand up for him. Everyone is different and something that is that small shouldn’t make someone an outcast; he was very talented and I could honestly see him being an artist one day.
In high school, the cliques just got worse. There were the jocks, the preps and many other groups; there was a lot of bullying of those that were “socially deviant”. It caused a lot of people to change who they were in order to make them feel better about themselves. I had a couple friends in high school that really felt marginalized either because of a break up or just because they felt different. These friends of mine began self harming and got to a point where I had to go to a school counselor to find ways to get them to stop.
My point in these stories is that we are so judgmental of others that it causes people to think less of themselves, yet it’s a double standard because we are taught to be ourselves. If being ourselves results in bullying, why are we taught to be ourselves? Why is it “socially deviant” to be an artist in middle school? Why do we make fun of people so much that they begin self harming? The answer is simple and complicated. It’s simple in the sense that it’s just what we learn to do as humans, but complicated in the sense that we can’t even enjoy doing what we like without wondering what other people will think.
The next time you want to make fun of someone, think it over. What are the consequences? I’m sure there the consequences outweigh the positive aspects. Making someone feel different shouldn’t make them want to be hurt. We shouldn’t be pressured to fit in because we are all different.
