I am assuming that most of you have heard about the debate surrounding participation trophies in youth sports, and whether or not they should be given out and whether or not entitlement is being created within these kids who get these trophies. This is an actual event that took place in my life not too long ago.
Earlier in this month, I was coaching a baseball team of incoming high schoolers as part of my summer ball requirement. During this, was my first experience with a kid who was taught that half ass effort should earn you what you want. This kid who was no older than 14, was complaining to me about playing time and how he used to be the starting second baseman on his team and it sucked he wasn’t now. So when I told this kid it happens and he just needs to work harder and become better than the other kid, he replied with, “my dad said I would start here since I did on my last team though. Why should I have to practice hard when I was the best on my other team?”
At this point, I stopped talking and just shrugged my shoulders and kept feeding the kid baseballs to hit and then watched him do nothing but walk around and take maybe 30 more swings the rest of the hour he was there. He then got his stuff packed and left with his dad, at this point I asked where he was from and was told some not-so-competitive little league in which all of the prior events made sense.
To start, let me clear some things up. I am a 20 year old college baseball player and have been participating in sports for as long as I can remember, but I have zero experience in dealing with kids and sports and them losing. Yes, I was one once, and I lost frequently, but never have I ever had to look this eight year old child in the eyes after they just got trounced by a team in their age group with kids that are so big and talented you question their age, and said “it’s okay buddy, losing happens” or whatever you want to say. So I can’t level with parents on this, but as a player who has been involved in so many competitions with losing most but about four (my childhood is basically a resume on failing and losing and how not to deal with it) here are some perspectives from that side.
After a certain age, those participation trophies need to stop being a thing. The simple reason is it teaches an attitude where effort gets you a reward and in the real world that is simply not true, something I have come to realize first hand. I am not saying your six year old child needs to be taught that life sucks, and sometimes you don’t get what you worked for, at that age no. That age and around there should be constructive, that yes work is good. Keep it up, keep getting better, cause here is a crazy concept to go with it; KIDS ARE SMART. They know the difference between “participation” trophies, and “real” trophies. They know that everyone got the same trophy for a reason, while that other team that was good got probably bigger or maybe flashier trophies. A hard concept to think about, kids being smart and all, but try accepting it once, it can change things.
Now back to the point of kids needing to not have these trophies after a certain age. Yes, reward is good, yes people should be proud of their effort even if it didn’t meet the maximum level of success, but it shouldn’t make them complacent and settle for it. That is where trouble starts. When kids become old enough to (hopefully) start deciding how dedicated they want to be to a sport on their own, that’s when participation trophies should be shut down. I am talking about ages 12, 13 or 14. Before that, sure give them their participation, but around here, lessons should be learned.
Personally starting competitive travel ball around the age of 11, not a single tournament I participated in gave me a trophy for just doing so. No, I only got a trophy for the rare times of winning the whole thing, or finishing in second. I barely even got third place medals or trophies and not even because I rarely reached these games, and all this did was piss me off. Not in the sense of “oh man, I tried hard, I deserve something,” hell no.
It made me want to succeed, it made me want to work and go after the success of winning it all. Giving kids these ages participation trophies creates a stigma where they can settle on their “lack” of success, or maybe their “oh-so close” success of fourth place or even fifth. They can then get complacent by choice and create an attitude of “meh I tried, where is my reward” in more than just sports. If we teach these kids this mindset, which one could they take to the classroom?
Personally, I think that’s where we have hit our downfall. Kids take this mindset that effort deserves reward with them into schooling and beyond because they are so coddled when failing. They showed up, did the bare minimum because that’s all they felt they needed to do and then expected an A. By no means should failure be taught to be an awful thing that should never happen in life cause it happens and it happens often. But it also shouldn’t be taught as “ah crap, ya tried ya failed, it's okay though, here is a neat trophy!”
It should be taken with a grain of salt and the motivation that the ability to be better and succeed is there so get after it and succeed. If kids were to stop being so coddled, maybe our generations below wouldn't turn out to be so soft, and hurt by everything. Maybe the drive to be successful will become more dominant than the expectancy kids have for their effort earning them success. But then again, I’m not a parent, just an athlete who was taught that half-ass effort won't get you the success you want by his parents. Just a kid who grew up seeing his older brothers win countless trophies and honors with their equally dedicated and successful teammates, so what could I possibly know about the kids today.
