You're walking around campus and you spot this super-attractive person. You think to yourself that he or she could be a potential suitor, but then a gut feeling hits you and you realize that you will have to spend at least three months separated during the summer. Is it worth it? Should you let yourself fall, knowing that it may not work out?
Long distance relationships are definitely not easy, but they can also present some great experiences. Check out these definite pros and cons to help you decide if it is worth it.
Cons
You Miss Them So Much It Hurts
I know it's clichéd, but in my experience the statement is very true. All your thoughts and actions start to become consumed by them. You begin to think about what they are doing that exact second and if it is close to what you are doing, or you wonder if they miss you as much as you miss them. In the beginning, this could be the greatest feeling in the world, but then as the relationship progresses this feeling of missing them starts to cause anxiety. You hope and pray that your significant other misses you. You get sick to your stomach thinking that something could be going wrong and their feelings towards you might be changing. You want to be in their presence so bad that it actually does hurt.
You become addicted to your phone.
Every single time your phone vibrates, you get butterflies expecting the message or phone call to be from your significant other; and when it isn't them, you decide it's not worth answering. You begin to take more Snapchats or add photos and videos to your story just to see if they've looked at it. You get on Twitter to see if they were Tweeting anybody because you want to be involved in their life as much as you can, even though you're still hours apart. This process starts to become a daily habit and before you know it, you have spent your entire summer waiting for responses instead of living life and cherishing memories made with family and friends.
You will most likely fight more.
Because you are spending so much time apart, life will simply get in the way of your plans, causing each partner to become irritated with the other more easily than if you were together every day. Trust me, you will get mad at the simplest things because you're so angry that you haven't seen them in a while and nothing seems to be working out. Afterwards, you will realize you got mad for no reason and feel really stupid about the fight.
Pros
You learn how to communicate
This is one of the hardest concepts to grasp, but once attained, it is so rewarding. You talk about current events or what's really going on in each of your lives, instead of the usual boring "Hey! What's up?!" conversations. Talking to them is more meaningful, so you spend your time really getting to know everything about the person. You learn to talk about your day, your hopes and dreams, and even silly things like what groceries you are buying. When something is wrong, you learn really quickly how to handle them in those situations. In most cases, this then could help the relationship last longer.
You learn how to be independent instead of dependent on each other.
When your significant other is close by, you want to spend every waking minute with them. Doing this will make you very dependent on each other. You will grow to live on their schedule instead of your own. When they are near, this can cause you to become consumed, thus losing time with family and friends. An important part of any relationship, whether it be long distance or not, is learning to be your own person outside of each other. If this doesn't seem to be happening, you will most likely lose sight of the person you were meant to be. In the end, you will regret ever beginning that relationship because you didn't get the chance to show them the real you. Most likely, they are not going anywhere and are actually enjoying being independent too!
It makes seeing them even more special.
Because it is so hard to see them, the occasional dinner dates or weekends together will be even more meaningful. You get excited to drive over an hour just to see them for a short period of time. Also, when it is time to return to school or you get the chance to see them every day, your relationship will be stronger because you cherish the time together more and have created stronger memories on which the relationship has been built versus the routine events that would occur with someone lives nearby. Absence really does make the heart grow fonder.
The decision is up to you. It will not be easy and can definitely be a challenge. It might not last forever; there very well could be heartbreak. But I believe God has a plan for all our of lives and that attractive person you just saw around campus could be part of your plan. Trust your heart. Be positive. If you chose to embark on this journey, just continue to be yourself. Hang out with your friends and try not to worry so much about your relationship. If it is meant to last, it will.
