I am a young adult, and because of that, people often talk to me about how it seems that everyone these days wants to complain about how the current generation of young people refuse to act like adults and will never grow up. Though I’m definitely not here for the relentless criticism of young people, I can say that, in many ways, I am one of those young people. It’s not quite that simple, but I do see some the positives of not “growing up” and “acting like an adult”, and I think it’s time that the transition time of young adulthood was given more respect, and that the goodness of youthful ideas and attitudes was acknowledged, rather than belittled.
I think I’ve always had this feeling that getting older was bad and something I needed to avoid at all costs. I just fully appreciated the life I had as a kid, and didn’t see any reason to want it to change. As a kid watching tv programs about preschoolers who just wanted to be grown-ups so they could do whatever they wanted and set their own bedtimes, I wondered why someone would want to grow up, when being young was so great. Around my tenth birthday, I would often decry that because I had hit double digits, life was going downhill. Thinking about the impending years in front of me, I feel this sense of dread and doom; I know I can’t avoid it, and I can’t help feeling that aging is bad for me.
It’s not that I don’t want responsibility or maturity, or to have to work and be a productive member of society- in fact, since I was very young people have often told me how responsible and mature I was already. It’s the very idea of getting older that troubles me. Adulthood seems to be cast as a dreary, negative, pessimistic experience. I don’t like the idea that, as an adult, there is a certain idea of how I will need to act and live my life. I don’t like the demand that I stop dreaming, stop being idealistic, or that I’m wrong and naive for thinking optimistically. Being told that I need to “live in the real world” bothers me- I am in the “real world”, I simply approach it differently. I don’t want to lose that childlike sense of wonder, the positivity and optimism which older people often tell me goes away with age. I love the sense that anything is possible, and that so much life lies ahead of me, full of wonders I can’t even imagine.
Beyond simple legalities, “being an adult” is a rather indefinable quality. Numerous experiences deemed “adult” occur for people at various ages of life. Furthermore, a single event, or even a combination of events does not guarantee an outcome of a person with maturity, wisdom, responsibility, or an understanding of adulthood.
Youth is a beautiful thing, as is maturity, and neither fully define a person, at any age. They are more like moods or personalities, and don’t happen in a linear order or an exactly prescribed transition. I think that rather than focusing solely on a person’s age, we should appreciate events and stages for what they are, whenever they happen. Rather than demanding someone change to fit expectations or molds of adulthood, we can encourage people to grow at their own pace, and become whoever they wish. Instead of fearing the future, we can learn to embrace it, because we know we won’t be forced to change- we can be ourselves, whoever we want. “Adults” come in all forms, and it’s time we start accepting them however they are.
