If there's one thing I've learned so far from my post-grad life it's this: applying for jobs is hard. I think what makes it even worse is the fact that no one warned us just how hard it would be once we got out into the "real world." It kind of felt like they handed us a diploma we spent thousands and thousands of dollars on and what felt like a lifetime getting, and then just set us free without any direction whatsoever. It's sort of like you're this guppy who got dropped into the deep end of the ocean without any swimming lessons.
As I've still tried to stay positive during the job hunting process, I can't help but want to go back to when times were simpler. Like when, for instance, the only thing I had to worry about was to make sure I didn't miss the new "SpongeBob SquarePants" episode. So with that, here's what applying for jobs is like as told by your favorite sponge and some members from Bikini Bottom. By the way, I think we all knew we were going to grow up to be like Squidward.
Actually having the energy/enthusiasm to start applying for jobs.
Seeing a job you'd be perfect for and really like.
Only to realize you don't fit all of the qualifications.
Choosing to settle on the job you put as your "last resort."
Working on your cover letter/resume.
Finishing your cover letter/resume after rewriting it for the millionth time.
Filling out the job application.
Hitting "Submit" and having instant regret/anxiety.
Waiting forever for a reply/call.
Now, there are two different scenarios for how this goes:
Scenario #1
Getting a reply/call for an interview.
Preparing for the interview the night before by getting a good nights sleep.
Making sure you look in tip top shape the morning of the interview.
Driving to the interview.
Trying to answer questions during the interview.
Feeling so nervous/awkward by the end of the interview that you start to spew word vomit.
Trying to make up for it by acting calm and cool when leaving.
Waiting to hear if you got the job.
GETTING THE JOB!
Scenario #2
Getting a reply/call saying you didn't get the job.
Feeling like a failure.
Realizing you wasted 4 years of college for nothing except to be in crippling debt.
Thinking you'll be stuck at your terrible job forever.
Seeing all you friends getting jobs easier and faster than you.
Trying to find the strength to keep on applying for jobs.
But not before treating yourself to a "Me Day" and spending it with friends having fun.
Or spending it crying on their shoulder while you vent to them.
All this happening while you have your millionth mental breakdown because applying for jobs is hard.
Don't worry though, because we're all in the same boat here when it comes to our future.
But tomorrow is always a new day, so stay positive and everything will be okay!
Happy job hunting! Now go take a much-deserved break and watch some Spongebob.
