Apes are Better Than Humans

Apes are Better Than Humans

The trilogy of the century must go on

When I was a child in the first grade my teacher put on the movie “Planet of the Apes”. I didn’t like it. The apes were mean to humans and the cinematography was scary to a kid my age but I knew that I did like sci-fi films. I also knew that I liked Matt Damon, he was great. In this movie he goes after his favorite coworker who's a chimp, he lands on another planet during another time and in the and when he gets back to Earth during his own time, it's over run by chimps. I thought I wouldn't watch it again.

Then I got older. And Rise of the Planet of the Apes came out. I saw it with my family and fell in love. Dave Franco did a phenomenal job. Everything about this movie was great. The acting, the cinematography, and the makeup. This quickly became a franchise that people of all ages could enjoy. My father and I watched them all we even went back and saw the old ones. Still the newer ones are much better. Then came Dawn of the Planet of the Apes.

This is the most significant of the movies because it sets the tone. Caesar the smart ape has founded a colony with the other remaining apes and the live in peace, Caesar has two sons and a wife and loyal friends. The humans are dying from a plague brought on by the apes. This has wiped out almost all of the human population. Koba an ape who in Dawn was tortured goes rouge! He never forgives humans for what they did to him so he kills two humans and shoot Caesar and tells the other apes that humans killed Caesar and then they go to the human compound and try to kill the humans.Caesar is obviously not dead and defeat Koba and you would think all would be well right ... ? WRONG! We have now arrived at the reason for this article.

So boom War gets here and people run to the theaters. I on the other hand could not, I had priorities. So I waited until it got on one of those free websites. So of course I watch it and I call my father so he can too. I was not disappointed but now comes the part of the article I wanted to get to. SPOILER ALERT COMING UP: DO NOT KEEP READING IF YOU DO NOT WANT ME TO SPOIL IT.

By this time in the franchise we have watched Caesar grow as an ape (obviously he wasn't a man). He has a family, and a colony and the apes are living in bliss unless the humans get in a mood and decide the want to kill them. Oh yeah humans?! BAD PEOPLE IN THIS MOVIE! They're an army now hunting apes. I was disgusted. The virus wiped out most of the humans but the war that Koba brought on is still raging on. Of course Apes want peace but humans want war. Some Apes are actually working for the humans. The humans call them Donkeys. During a rave the humans get into the cave and kill Blue Eyes, Caesar's first born son and his wife. thinking that it's Caesar. Tears streamed down my face. Now it's all about revenge but then Caesar realizes that he's better than Koba and he can forgive. After all he does have another son. Apes are taken prisoner by the humans who treat them badly. Caesar finds out that more humans are are joining them but that the new humans aren't on the same page with the others. War ensues (as it should) and the apes get away. Humans kill each other and the remaining ones are wiped out by an avalanche.The apes and a little mute girl named Nova survives.

First of all, Woody Harrelson deserves some serious recognition. He played the hell out of his role. Legit, I was scared. He was merciless and ruthless and just the villain that my boy Caesar needed to defeat. But then my boo dies! And it’s not like he dies in a firey blaze as he throws a grenade from a plane and junk. NO!! Caesar leads all the Apes to the promise land and then he dies! He couldn’t even enjoy it. To be completely honest. A few of the greats die. His wife, his first son, Woddy, Luca the big gorilla who would throw down for Caesar. I cried when he died. It marked an end of an era. But the main reason why I cried is for my boy Cornelius. Cornelius is Caesar’s youngest son. When Woody came in an slaughtered his wife and son, Cornelius went into hiding. Now, in a matter of I think a week this baby has lost his entire family! A whole family! He’s just a baby. The only two good things that came out of this movie was that we meet Bad Ape who’s a chimp from the Sierra Zoo. And that the orangutan saves a little girl because she can’t talk. They teach her sign language and the apes get along very well with her after the kill her dad.

Watch the movie, but go into with a clear mind that you may become very upset.

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30 Bee Puns To Get You Through The Day

These puns are as sweet as honey.

There are few things in life that make me happier (and/or make me want to bury my face in my hands and groan loudly) than a well timed pun. This goes double if the pun involves some my favorite insects — bees. There's nothing quite as satisfying as uttering a bee pun when no one expects it, so here is a list of the top 30 bee puns around!

Use these puns to make your grandparents laugh, impress your date, spice up your Tinder profile, make friends with a beekeeper, break the ice at your new job or make everyone in the general vicinity wish they hadn't invited you to come hang out with them. You won't bee-lieve how many of these puns you'll be pollen for! You'll bee-come an instant hit at parties! You'll bee sure to thank me later.

1. "When a bee is in your hand, what's in your eye? Beauty. Because beauty is in the eye of the bee-holder."

2. "Bee puns really sting.

3. "Who's a bee's favorite singer? Bee-yoncé."

4. "What's a happy bumblebee's blood type? Bee positive!"

5. "Bee puns aren't that great. I don't get what all the buzz is about."

6. "Wasp are you talking about?"

7. "Naughty bee children really need to beehive."

8. "What kind of bees drop things? Fumble bees!"

9. "A bee's favorite haircut is a buzz cut!"

10. "What do you call a bee that's a sore loser? A cry bay-bee!"

11. "What's a bee's favorite flower? Bee-gonias!"

12. "Why do bees get married? Because they found their honey!"

13. "That bee is talking too quietly, it must be a mumble-bee!"

14. "Bee children take the school buzz to get to school."

15. "A bee's favorite sport is rug-bee."

16. "The bees went on strike because they wanted more honey and less working flowers."

17. "On the first day of class, bee students are given a sylla-buzz."

18. "What did one bee say to the other when they landed on the same flower? Buzz off."

19. "Who's a bee's favorite painter? Pablo Bee-casso!"

20. "A bee styles their hair with a honeycomb."

21. "When a bee writes a sonnet, they're waxing poetic."

22. "The worker bee decided to take a vacation to Stingapore last year."

23. "A bee that's been put under a spell has been bee-witched!"

24. "Say, these bee puns aren't too shab-bee."

25. "That pretentious wasp is just plain snob-bee!"

26. "Why did the bee want to use the phone? To say hi to their honey."

27. "A bee's favorite novel is the Great Gats-bee."

28. "What's a bee's favorite Spice Girls song? Wanna-bee!"

29. "What do bees like with their sushi? Wasa-bee!"

30. "Remember, bee puns are good for your health, they give you a dose of Vitamin Bee!"

Cover Image Credit: Fanaru

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Why Rats Are Underrated Pets

And perfect for the average college student.


When most people think of the word "pet", a cat or dog may inevitably come to mind. Still, there are many different types of animals which can be kept as pets, including birds, snakes, fish, rabbits, etc. While pets like snakes and lizard perhaps are not as cuddly or cute as other pets, they can still be fun and and interesting to have.

The word "rat" typically conjures up a beady-eyed rodent that is typically used in the same vein as the words "dirty" or "disgusting". Some people also think of the plague (though it is fleas, and not necessarily rats themselves who are to blame for that). Despite their less than ideal reputation, however, rats are actually relatively clean animals that groom themselves several times a day, and can form lifelong bonds with their owners. There are several reasons domesticated rats actually make great pets.

Aside from being cleaner than one might think, there are several species of rats which have been bred to be kept as pets. They are also rather intelligent, as can be seen by their ability to run though complicated mazes, and even show empathy for each other. In one study, two rats were placed in a cage. One was held in a closed restrainer, while the other was free in the cage. Amazingly, the free rats would often learn to open the restrainer door by themselves and free their companion. They were not trained to do this, and in another study, where an additional restrainer was added to the same cage and filled with chocolate chips, the rats were more likely to free their companion first before opening the restrainer with the food.

Rats can also recognize their owners by sight and the sound of their voice. They are social animals, some of whom like being around humans. For the average college student, they are also typically cheaper and easier to care for than a cat or dog. Unless you own some type of mutant rat, it is also possible to leave the apartment for class and not have to worry about what kind of destruction you'll see when you return.

Overall, rats make for a great lower-maintenance pet. Many rat owners can tell you that while it may take time to form a bond with your furry friend, it's very much worth it in the end.

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