Apes are Better Than Humans

Apes are Better Than Humans

The trilogy of the century must go on

When I was a child in the first grade my teacher put on the movie “Planet of the Apes”. I didn’t like it. The apes were mean to humans and the cinematography was scary to a kid my age but I knew that I did like sci-fi films. I also knew that I liked Matt Damon, he was great. In this movie he goes after his favorite coworker who's a chimp, he lands on another planet during another time and in the and when he gets back to Earth during his own time, it's over run by chimps. I thought I wouldn't watch it again.

Then I got older. And Rise of the Planet of the Apes came out. I saw it with my family and fell in love. Dave Franco did a phenomenal job. Everything about this movie was great. The acting, the cinematography, and the makeup. This quickly became a franchise that people of all ages could enjoy. My father and I watched them all we even went back and saw the old ones. Still the newer ones are much better. Then came Dawn of the Planet of the Apes.

This is the most significant of the movies because it sets the tone. Caesar the smart ape has founded a colony with the other remaining apes and the live in peace, Caesar has two sons and a wife and loyal friends. The humans are dying from a plague brought on by the apes. This has wiped out almost all of the human population. Koba an ape who in Dawn was tortured goes rouge! He never forgives humans for what they did to him so he kills two humans and shoot Caesar and tells the other apes that humans killed Caesar and then they go to the human compound and try to kill the humans.Caesar is obviously not dead and defeat Koba and you would think all would be well right ... ? WRONG! We have now arrived at the reason for this article.

So boom War gets here and people run to the theaters. I on the other hand could not, I had priorities. So I waited until it got on one of those free websites. So of course I watch it and I call my father so he can too. I was not disappointed but now comes the part of the article I wanted to get to. SPOILER ALERT COMING UP: DO NOT KEEP READING IF YOU DO NOT WANT ME TO SPOIL IT.

By this time in the franchise we have watched Caesar grow as an ape (obviously he wasn't a man). He has a family, and a colony and the apes are living in bliss unless the humans get in a mood and decide the want to kill them. Oh yeah humans?! BAD PEOPLE IN THIS MOVIE! They're an army now hunting apes. I was disgusted. The virus wiped out most of the humans but the war that Koba brought on is still raging on. Of course Apes want peace but humans want war. Some Apes are actually working for the humans. The humans call them Donkeys. During a rave the humans get into the cave and kill Blue Eyes, Caesar's first born son and his wife. thinking that it's Caesar. Tears streamed down my face. Now it's all about revenge but then Caesar realizes that he's better than Koba and he can forgive. After all he does have another son. Apes are taken prisoner by the humans who treat them badly. Caesar finds out that more humans are are joining them but that the new humans aren't on the same page with the others. War ensues (as it should) and the apes get away. Humans kill each other and the remaining ones are wiped out by an avalanche.The apes and a little mute girl named Nova survives.

First of all, Woody Harrelson deserves some serious recognition. He played the hell out of his role. Legit, I was scared. He was merciless and ruthless and just the villain that my boy Caesar needed to defeat. But then my boo dies! And it’s not like he dies in a firey blaze as he throws a grenade from a plane and junk. NO!! Caesar leads all the Apes to the promise land and then he dies! He couldn’t even enjoy it. To be completely honest. A few of the greats die. His wife, his first son, Woddy, Luca the big gorilla who would throw down for Caesar. I cried when he died. It marked an end of an era. But the main reason why I cried is for my boy Cornelius. Cornelius is Caesar’s youngest son. When Woody came in an slaughtered his wife and son, Cornelius went into hiding. Now, in a matter of I think a week this baby has lost his entire family! A whole family! He’s just a baby. The only two good things that came out of this movie was that we meet Bad Ape who’s a chimp from the Sierra Zoo. And that the orangutan saves a little girl because she can’t talk. They teach her sign language and the apes get along very well with her after the kill her dad.

Watch the movie, but go into with a clear mind that you may become very upset.

Popular Right Now

30 Bee Puns To Get You Through The Day

These puns are as sweet as honey.

There are few things in life that make me happier (and/or make me want to bury my face in my hands and groan loudly) than a well timed pun. This goes double if the pun involves some my favorite insects — bees. There's nothing quite as satisfying as uttering a bee pun when no one expects it, so here is a list of the top 30 bee puns around!

Use these puns to make your grandparents laugh, impress your date, spice up your Tinder profile, make friends with a beekeeper, break the ice at your new job or make everyone in the general vicinity wish they hadn't invited you to come hang out with them. You won't bee-lieve how many of these puns you'll be pollen for! You'll bee-come an instant hit at parties! You'll bee sure to thank me later.

1. "When a bee is in your hand, what's in your eye? Beauty. Because beauty is in the eye of the bee-holder."

2. "Bee puns really sting.

3. "Who's a bee's favorite singer? Bee-yoncé."

4. "What's a happy bumblebee's blood type? Bee positive!"

5. "Bee puns aren't that great. I don't get what all the buzz is about."

6. "Wasp are you talking about?"

7. "Naughty bee children really need to beehive."

8. "What kind of bees drop things? Fumble bees!"

9. "A bee's favorite haircut is a buzz cut!"

10. "What do you call a bee that's a sore loser? A cry bay-bee!"

11. "What's a bee's favorite flower? Bee-gonias!"

12. "Why do bees get married? Because they found their honey!"

13. "That bee is talking too quietly, it must be a mumble-bee!"

14. "Bee children take the school buzz to get to school."

15. "A bee's favorite sport is rug-bee."

16. "The bees went on strike because they wanted more honey and less working flowers."

17. "On the first day of class, bee students are given a sylla-buzz."

18. "What did one bee say to the other when they landed on the same flower? Buzz off."

19. "Who's a bee's favorite painter? Pablo Bee-casso!"

20. "A bee styles their hair with a honeycomb."

21. "When a bee writes a sonnet, they're waxing poetic."

22. "The worker bee decided to take a vacation to Stingapore last year."

23. "A bee that's been put under a spell has been bee-witched!"

24. "Say, these bee puns aren't too shab-bee."

25. "That pretentious wasp is just plain snob-bee!"

26. "Why did the bee want to use the phone? To say hi to their honey."

27. "A bee's favorite novel is the Great Gats-bee."

28. "What's a bee's favorite Spice Girls song? Wanna-bee!"

29. "What do bees like with their sushi? Wasa-bee!"

30. "Remember, bee puns are good for your health, they give you a dose of Vitamin Bee!"

Cover Image Credit: Fanaru

Related Content

Connect with a generation
of new voices.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you.

Learn more Start Creating

The 10 Best Low-Maintenance Dog Breeds For College Kids

For if you just aren't a cat person but still want a low-maintenance pet.


Every pet requires care and attention, especially when it comes to dogs. As a college student, you may live in an apartment with minimal space for a dog to run around, and you may not be able to dedicate most of your time to a dog. While you shouldn't own a dog whatsoever if you're not able to take them for a walk at least twice a day, some dogs have a lot less energy than others and don't require as much attention and grooming. You may opt for a small dog breed thinking they're better with smaller spaces, but often certain small breeds need even more exercise and space than big dogs. A general guideline is to find a mature, low-exercise dog with a low-maintenance coat.

1. Basset Hounds.

Maximiliano Ignacio Pinilla Alvarado

Basset Hounds are the best pets for college students because instead of being anxious while you're at school or work, they just do nothing but eat and sleep. They're the perfect couch potato dogs and need minimal exercise, unlike the rest of the breeds in the hound group. On top of that, they're extremely loving and obedient!

2. Bulldogs.


American, French, and English bulldogs are all great low-maintenance pets. They have all the personality in the world, but they don't require extensive exercise and don't need to be brushed. As long as they're played with at least once a day, they're happy puppers. They're also the perfect size for apartment living. Bulldogs do experience health problems more than the average breed, so be sure to have money set aside for the vet.

3. Cavalier King Charles Spaniels.


While the Cavalier King Charles Spaniel does require grooming, since they're so small and easy to groom, it won't cost you more than 5 minutes out of your day to do a thorough brushing. They're mellow yet playful people-loving dogs and are perfect for beginners. Get ready to give and receive affection, because these lap dogs love to cuddle.

4. Greyhounds.

Juan Gomez

Most low-energy people avoid Greyhounds, thinking they require a lot of exercise. While they do require daily exercise, it doesn't take a lot to satiate them. As racing dogs, they love to run, so taking them to a field and allowing them to run for 10 minutes during your daily walk will help them get rid of any excess energy. In the house, they're very mellow dogs that like to lay around a lot and they don't bark very often. They also have short hair, so they don't require brushing.

5. Boston Terriers.


Boston Terriers are very adaptable to apartment living. Playful yet mellow, this non-sporting breed only requires a moderate amount of exercise. You might even find that they start panting up a storm during walks before you start to break a sweat. They also don't require any brushing and are very easy to train. Plus, who doesn't want a dog that's constantly wearing a tuxedo?

6. Shiba Inus.

Christal Yeun

The Shiba Inu has become a very sought-after breed, and with good reason. They're basically cats in a dog's body. Finicky, independent, and mellow; the Shiba Inu is the perfect dog for an owner who doesn't have a lot of time and attention to devote as long as they're properly trained. The Sheeb can be unfriendly around other dogs and new people, but they're extremely loyal to their family. Although they're great for college living, they may not be the ideal breed for someone who has never owned a dog due to their stubborn nature.

7. Havanese dogs.


Don't let the long hair of this pooch intimidate you, their coats are easily maintained with a daily 10-minute brushing and an occasional trim at the groomer's. Unlike most toy breeds, havanese dogs are generally mellow and not very yappy, so they won't annoy the neighbors like a chihuahua or pomeranian. They're also generally very friendly to strangers and other animals.

8. Pugs.

Mink Mingle

Pugs are a great breed for everyone, but especially people who don't have much time to devote to grooming and training. They have a medium energy level which can be satisfied by being walked only a couple of times a day. They are very playful and affectionate, so be prepared to have toys on-hand when you are at home. Pugs can suffer from health problems due to breeding defects, so make sure you have a savings fund for the vet if you want this breed. Pugs can live alone, but prefer the company of other animals. The perfect excuse to get more than one pug!

9. Bullmastifs.


Bullmastiffs are a large dog breed, but since they're usually just laying around anyways, they don't need a big space with a big yard. These dogs on average require a minimal amount of exercise and are loving, but not very playful. Having a bullmastiff is like having a human friend; they're loyal companions but won't take up all of your time and energy. They're also very protective and easy to train as guard dogs.

10. Dachshunds (Short Hair).

Niki Sanders

Dachshunds, also known as wiener-dogs, are one of the smallest breeds in the hunting group. Short-Haired Dachshunds require no brushing and are moderately active dogs. They're the perfect size and exercise level for apartment living, on top of the fact that they're just so adorable. Make sure your dachshund is properly trained though, as they can be fearful and sometimes aggressive towards strangers and other dogs.

These are some of the 10 best breeds of dogs for college students, but if you want to know more about different breeds, the most trusted resource is the American Kennel Society's website.

Even low-maintenance breeds require the basics, so don't think that getting one of these breeds won't still be a big responsibility. Having a pet is like having another person to take care of, so make sure you at least have some time and money set aside for daily walking, cuddle/play time, and vet check-ups. Despite the big responsibility, they're the perfect companion to help ease your nerves around exams and they're completely worth the hassle! And remember to adopt; don't shop.

Related Content

Facebook Comments