At one point or another, we all experience bad times, and knowing that you are not alone is cliché but important to recognize. Sadness and depression do not discriminate; they know no bounds, no races, no gender. They will latch onto anyone susceptible and plague them until they decide it is time to make it stop.
Depression is a two-way street; you are the person experiencing it, but it also impacts everyone around you. For those with friends and family members suffering from depression, know your place and be the guiding light, but remember that these are not your problems. Our sole job on this planet is to live our lives to the best of our ability; therefore, it is crucial to always put yourself first. Understand where your limits are as a friend, family member or caretaker. There is only so much you can do before you start to be affected.
Depression is highly contagious and understandably, no one wants to see a person they care for in so much pain. The best way you can help is to encourage them to seek help from those with the actual ability to do so. Suggest they see a therapist, psychiatrist, or seek help from an adult they trust. Remember, you are their friend -- not their therapist, doctor or emotional punching bag. I battled my own demons for many years and I have made it to the other side. Even after there are still things I struggle with, but I have learned how to deal with it without letting it consume me. So now I share with you some of the things I have learned that have helped me get to where I am today.
1. Rake your own path.
It is all too easy to get caught up in other people's problems and make them your own. For those like me who wish to service and help other people, it is one of our greatest strengths and greatest weaknesses. The best advice I ever got was "Rake your on path." Take care of the leaves falling and trees blocking the path, for if you rake other people's paths, yours will become overgrown and dangerous. It is okay to help another person with their path as long as at the end of the day you return to your own and take care of what is falling there.
2. Embrace your fears.
A reoccurring theme I have found in a lot of the books I read is fear and becoming fearless. Learning what you are afraid of and using it to your advantage instead of letting it destroy you. We all have our demons and skeletons in the closet, and it is important to know that that's okay. We all have a past and whether good or bad that has made us who we are and gotten us all to where we are today. Fears are just irrational thoughts, and only have the as much power over us as we give them. Don't let yourself keep you from going forward.
3. Let go or be dragged.
Letting go of the past is still something I struggle with every day. One must acknowledge the past and accept that it has happened. Understand that you can no longer change it for the past is in the past, and free yourself from any feelings of sadness, guilt, anger, shame or anything else attached to those memories. That's how we can move on and enjoy the present.
4. Life is better when you are laughing.
Have you ever cried for so long that you eventually fell asleep? We have all been there, and there's actually a reason you pass out, because it is exhausting to be sad. Not to say that it is a bad thing -- we are all entitled to our feelings and allowed to feel and respond with how we feel. However, there is a point you can reach where it becomes unhealthy to be sad for so long. Saying "just be happy" is relatively unreasonable, but what is reasonable is to work on what it is that is upsetting you and figure out a game plan to get back on the laughing track. The tunnel may seem long and dark right now, but laughter is on the other side and you will get there.
5. Love yourself.
You have to love yourself before you can love someone else, and you have to be happy before you can make another person happy. If you don't care about you, then no one else can care about you. If you do not want to be helped, then no one can help. Nothing will ever get better until you accept who you are, accept your problems, and accept the help others are wanting to give you. You are your first priority and by loving yourself, endless opportunities will open up. If you are sad, your best friend and your significant other are sad; if you are happy, then those around you are happy. Know thyself, love thyself, save thyself.
