Have you ever been so frustrated with yourself for not following through with something you’ve always wanted to do or not taking the opportunity to be spontaneous? It’s a complicated feeling because you know you want to go for it, you sit there and wonder what’s holding you back, and you’re just too afraid to take the leap.
Sometimes, you just have to close your eyes and have faith, which is absolutely easier said than done. Some people have a clear definition of faith, whether that faith lies in religion, individual strength, the idea of inevitability, or expected statistics. Others tend to look out the window for that metaphysical answer to hit them square in the face, I know I do that. I mean, really, what is outside that stupid window? Nothing, actually. Some part of our subconscious is just begging something bigger than us to show us where we’re supposed to go.
I could wait my entire life for a guided path, but the reality is that it’s never going to appear; it’s purely instinctual. When you have no idea if that path will hurt or help you, you just take it anyway because I can guarantee you’ll learn something from it. I was confronted with this issue this summer because I felt an incredible desire to write a book. Sure, I write articles and people tell me they’re insightful, universal, true, etc., but I really don’t know the first thing about writing a book. Maybe I could write an autobiography on life experiences, but I don’t have enough life experience to do that. Instead, I embraced my imagination and wrote a fictional autobiography. I’m currently scouring the Internet and personal connections for publishers, and while nothing has presented itself, I’m hopeful to share this story with the intention of helping as many people as I can.
It was a frightening experience because it forced me to step out of my perspective and question what the hell I was doing with myself. A lot of people, understandably, don’t like to do that, seeing that it’s the scary act of encouraging self-doubt. However, that self-doubt is necessary in order to transcend the fear of failure and many other obstacles when aiming to achieve a personal goal.
There’s a common negative connotation associated with eating alone at a restaurant, shopping by yourself, or going to a public event without the people you surround yourself with, but it’s so simple to say, “I don’t care.” Many times, new people and experiences find you and the door for new opportunities open up so wide that it almost falls off its hinges. Whether it’s something as simple as grabbing coffee alone or as complicated as becoming everything you want to be, the same concept of having faith in yourself applies. Have faith that things will work out, that you will eventually see growth, and that your decision was worthwhile.
In the end, the only way to live life is to experience it, despite the little voice that says, “You can’t do it.” I promise you that you can.
