The monsters inside your head, telling you what you should do and how you should live your life.The constant yelling and worrying over every single thing in your life. Those monsters are called anxiety and too many people struggle with it, including me.
My anxiety started in the third grade when I was only nine years old. Since I was so young, I had no idea what was wrong with me, I thought I was sick and that I was the only one who felt like this and I thought that maybe I was dying. Anxiety tortures you from the inside out and every fiber of your being is screaming to make it stop. Many people end their own lives because that is the only way they think that they can get it to stop. I knew I needed to keep going, that maybe I was different and that I could survive this. It has been five years since I discovered my anxiety and I am still here. I'm here because anxiety doesn't control me; it makes me stronger.
I still have anxiety about anything and everything. I get panic attacks just thinking about driving because of everything that can go wrong in a car. I have anxiety of speaking in front of people or being called on to read during class. These thoughts that anxiety puts into my mind are harmful, because I miss out on so many things because I'm afraid of everything that could go wrong. When I was younger I was always confused about what was wrong with me, because I knew no one that I could relate to. I often felt alone and like I didn't belong, but one day I told myself that these are just thoughts. I know that things can go wrong in situations, but that is inevitable because they're always going to be a possibility whether I'm at home or on the road.
I have learned to not let the monsters in my head control me, that they are just made up things, and their sole purpose is to harm me. I am still here because I have figured this out. I am stronger than those harmful thoughts, and I have the ability to control them and make those thoughts into motivational ones. I still have anxiety, but guess what? It doesn't define me anymore; it makes me stronger. I've decided that my social anxiety is just another thing that makes me unique.
If you're reading this and are also struggling with anxiety, I want you to know that everything is going to be okay. You are not defined by your anxiety, but are made stronger by this gift God has chosen you to have. Anxiety can be beat and controlled by you just simply believing in yourself. If anxiety keeps you from going to events or leaving your house or talking to people, then take baby steps to get yourself back out there. This is my story, and I'm a survivor that is still fighting anxiety everyday but I am in control.
