Now I know I'm just a dump millennial that likes to think she knows more about the world than she really does. I’m just a child, essentially. I mean, where do I get the authority to talk about big topics like fear and life's struggle? I don't. I haven’t had long on this earth. I haven’t really lived. But at the end of the day I don’t think anyone really has this whole life thing figured out. Each person is on their own road, just trying to figure out where to go next. But as long as we’re on the matter let's talk a bit about fear.
These past couple of weeks I have found myself in the middle of a fear sandwich. Oh aren't those just the best? A fear sandwich is also known as this other thing I like to call anxiety. And what a wonderful thing it is.
As everyone has gone back to school, I sit and wait for mine to begin. I've started to look to the fall. Wondering what it will bring. Who I will meet and how will my path change. Where I will go next, so to speak.
Will this year go how I had hoped? Have I done the best I can do to ensure that's the case? What if I make a decision that doesn't lead me in the way of my goals? What if inadvertently take a detour?
Well if J.R.R Tolkien has taught me anything, it’s that not all roads lead us where we want, exactly when we want it. My problem isn’t that I want to achieve all these goals. No, my problem is that I want to control my future.
I’ve been so worried about things I have zero control over. But I don’t think I’m the only one. We have it so ingrained in our being that our only goal is to grow up, go to school, go to college, graduate and get a job. We have been trained to take the smartest path as possible to get to that goal.
I guess I fell trap to this idea. I fell trap to the idea that if I try hard enough I can control my future. Well I have one response to that “Who the hell do I think I am?” I have no idea where I’m going. No idea what I’m doing. No idea if I’m heading in the right direction.
What myself and others that like to control their future have to remember is that life is going to happen. Events, situations, setbacks, all these things are going to happen whether we like it or not. All we can do is just sit back, relax and have faith. Faith that this will all work out. That we’ll land on our feet. That we will reach our goals by only worrying about what we can control and nothing more.
We must look at our future with fearlessness and optimism and maybe cross our fingers just for luck. We have no way of knowing if we’re going in the right direction unless we try it and see. So try it.
