Anxiety Is The Angel & Devil On My Shoulders
Start writing a post
Health and Wellness

Anxiety Is The Angel & Devil On My Shoulders

The constant nagging of two voices

Anxiety Is The Angel & Devil On My Shoulders

If there was one way I could put into simple words the feeling of helplessness and fear that occurs on occasion it would be the title of this article. My anxiety comes in a puff of white smoke with a sudden weight on my shoulders. Two different voices telling me the complete opposite leaving me in a mess of emotion. I used to think this was just my personality and who I was. The indecisive, worry wart that I am. In most ways that is just who I am and just part of me. However, there is a difference between my personality and my anxiety. I found there was a difference between silly thoughts and genuine fear.

In a moment of personal crisis the angel is telling me to take deep breaths, that everything is alright. The devil is telling me all the things I should fear and the worst possible outcomes. My anxiety used to be a silent killer where suddenly I lost function and found myself in a panic. This mostly occurs in social situations or when I am overwhelmed. Now when I am away from my zone of comfort I start to worry and it slowly becomes moments of panic. It morphs into the situation. It is one of the worst feelings I have ever had in my life. Imagine feeling like you've lost control of yourself and that you can't do anything. My own mind can't decide how it feels.

I have never fully understood my anxiety. I slowly have deciphered some of it. But it is something I know that is irrational, negative, and a bunch of "what if" thoughts. It is assuming the worst is to happen or the worst is yet to come. I could stand here and listen to the two voices going back and forth all day. At some point you must learn to speak up yourself. I will not let fear determine how I will live my life. Even when the evil sitting on my shoulder seems to be winning the battle and my most negative thoughts still looming. I want to choose joy. I want to choose freedom.

You don't have to let it control your life. You don't have to let it decide for you. Thankfully, the angel is here to stay. The stronger I become the less I hear from evil. The nagging of two different voices become less and less.

I write all this because maybe it will help you understand someone else's anxiety or your own. It has been one of the hardest thing to explain to others. My best advice is to get help if you feel it is necessary. Mental illness is something no one should go through alone.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

The Mystery Of The Gospel

Also entitled, "The Day I Stopped Believing In God"


I had just walked across the street from the soccer field back to the school. I turned around and saw the cars rushing, passing each other, going fast over the crosswalk where I had been moments earlier. “It would be so easy to jump in front of one of them,” I thought, looking at the cars. “I could jump, and this life that I’m stuck in would be over.”

Keep Reading... Show less

College as Told by The Lord of the Rings Memes

One does not simply pass this article.


College as told by the Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit memes. Everyone will be Tolkien about it.

Keep Reading... Show less

A Tribute To The Lonely Hispanic

In honor of Hispanic Heritage Month, I’d like to share a few thoughts about being Hispanic in a country where it’s hard to be Hispanic.

Veronika Maldonado

Just a little background information; my dad was born in Mexico, came to the U.S. as a newborn and became a citizen when he was 25 years old. My mom was born and raised in the U.S. as were my grandparents and great grandparents, but my great-great grandparents did migrate here from Mexico. I am proud to classify myself as Hispanic but there are times when I feel like I’m living a double life and I don’t fit into either one.

Keep Reading... Show less

Dear College Football

It's not you, it's me.


Dear College Football,

Keep Reading... Show less

Hurricane Preparedness

In Louisiana and many other states, it is important to have a hurricane plan

Munger Construction

With hurricane season, it's always best to be prepared for it. It means having a plan for your family and home. Everyone in Louisiana should know the basics of preparing for hurricane season.

Keep Reading... Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments