I have suffered from anxiety for as long as I can remember but I was only diagnosed two years ago.

I have spent my entire life being told to "calm down" and it is exhausting to feel like no one understands. I always had to hide this part of me as much as I could when it came to my day to day life, let alone a relationship. I embraced it as part of my testimony and as part of who I am but I never let anyone see me have a panic attack.

I always felt like running away when having a panic attack and I never let anyone comfort me; Until now. It was the craziest experience. So, if you ever think you are broken or flawed because of your anxiety, know that you are so much more than your anxiety!

You deserve someone who sees that in you and who is going to be by your side through it all.

Trust me, I know it is hard. I didn't know my boyfriend didn't believe in anxiety until months into our relationship. I felt like I couldn't talk to him about how I was feeling and what I was going through. This isn't healthy for any relationship, whether its friends, family, coworkers or anyone.

I remember crying to my mom because I didn't know what to do or how to explain anxiety to my boyfriend. My mom actually wrote him a note explaining that even if he doesn't believe anxiety is real, he should believe that it is real for me. She even told him what to do when I am having a panic attack (Seriously, my mom is the best right?).

I really appreciated his effort in helping me with my anxiety but also pushing me to trust him. I mean we stayed in a stranger's apartment and climbed down a mountain to swim in a lake in the middle of nowhere and I learned to trust him and felt anxiety's grip on me loosen. You should always know your limits. It is good to try to challenge yourself and fight your anxiety, but if it is too much, that will only make things worse.

I was worried that my anxiety would cause problems in my relationship and I thought I could never be loved wholly. But just this week, I was in my dorm and all of a sudden I was panicking for no reason at all. I felt like I couldn't breathe and that something bad would happen.

I was shaking and crying and I was all alone. I tried to calm myself down but I felt like I was falling further and further down this hole and I needed someone to pull me out. I told my boyfriend I needed him and he called me right away. He helped me control my breathing and let me cry it out. Then he made me laugh to distract me and reminded me that everything would be okay.

I have had so many panic attacks where I had to suffer silently and go on pretending everything was okay. I had been fighting this mental battle by myself for so long and to have the man that I care about the most drop his plans to be there for me shook me to my core.

Here I was at my most vulnerable, and I wasn't alone.

Having someone help you through a panic attack doesn't mean you're weak, it means you are strong enough to admit that you don't need help but you want it.

Anxiety has this crazy powerful force over our lives and no matter what medication you use or how many therapy sessions you go to, anxiety will still keep its grip on you and try to hold you down. You are so strong and having someone to stand beside you and remind you of your strength is so important.

We can't decide when we will have a panic attack, but we can decide who we want to let into our lives to help us. Remember how strong you are.

You fight these battles every day and you are still so successful and able to live your life through this. Do not ever think that you are unlovable because you feel broken, because one day, someone will come along and help you put your pieces together. Do not settle for anything less than what you need because you already have enough battles to fight.

Find the person who wants to be by your side for better or for worse and love you even more through it all. Trust me, when you find this person, you will be able to loosen anxiety's hold on you and it is the most empowered I have ever felt.