Sometimes you are going to realize that your hair is too shaggy, that you're eating off of a frisbee because who needs dishes when you get a free thing that can be used as a plate, and that adulting is just too hard. Sometimes you realize that you are Andy Dwyer, and you realize that you are perfectly content with that. I wouldn't want any other man to represent how I am in college because I am not ashamed to be Andy Dwyer.
1. Going into a new semester and telling yourself you will do what you should have done last semester.
2. Realizing you and your friend have the same taste in clothing.
3. When you have to take Gen-Eds that have nothing to do with what you are majoring in.
4. But then you wish there was a cooking Gen-Ed because that is one skill that you are lacking and it's time to stop lying about that on Tinder.
5. But you make up for that with your ability to find the cute person your friend danced with last weekend in Facebook stalking.
6. And then you realize you have to get off the internet and write a paper about ancient history.
7. But you somehow manage to get a "B" on it.
8. Then your parents call to ask you about your eating habits and you tell them that you formed a new food group.
9. And nothing is better than when a true friend tells you that you should do anything and everything but studying and you agree.
10. But they say you have to change because your pajama pants and your oversized Grand Canyon t-shirt aren't "acceptable to wear in public."
11. And next thing you know, they keep you distracted for another four hours and you realize your work is due in 20 minutes.
12. Then you go to lecture the next day and zone out because you're thinking about your dog.
13. But you recall the most important things from your English class. Or was it Political Science? Maybe it was regular science?
14. And next thing you know, it's Friday.
15. And Friday's mean dance parties, which means:
16. Next thing you know, it's Sunday and you have to start thinking of the reasons you didn't get a big kid job.
17. Then you remember that it's okay if you don't get that big kid job because your dog will love you anyways.
18. But then your parents force you to grow up and remind you that you can't always live in their basement.
If you are ever feeling upset about college and you don't know what to do, just remember that Andy Dwyer ended up with a Super Awesome Musical Explosion Show and a cute three-legged dog.
