Soda becomes vodka. Bikes turn into cars. Kisses turn into sex. Remember when the tallest place in the world was on your dad’s shoulders? When your mom was your hero? When getting high meant swinging on the playground? When protection meant strapping on a helmet? When the worst thing boys could give girls were cooties? Your worst enemies used to be your siblings. Heartbreak was when you got your toys taken away for not finishing your vegetables. Race issues were about who ran the fastest. War was only a board game. When you didn’t care how you looked on your way to school and your momma picked out your outfits. The only drug you took was cough medicine. Your butterflies came from your crush. Back when wearing a skirt didn’t label you a slut. When the most pain you felt was skinning your knee. When goodbyes only meant until tomorrow.
When you were young.
But we just couldn’t wait to grow up.
Growing up is not all it is cracked up to be.
We think that it will mean independence, love, happiness, but at what cost? We are so blinded by this concept to figure things out on our own that we forget to breathe. And in this great big process of trying to grow up and become independent, we forget to take care of ourselves. We avoid our issues. Health becomes a foreign concept, happiness comes in and out of its cave, and people do not want to admit they are not okay.
It is okay, to not be okay.
It is okay to ask for help.
It is okay to not know why you are the way you are.
It is such a destructive feeling which overpowers you and you just cannot control.
Girls blame hormones, boys blame the world, parents blame the people their kids associate with.
Why do we do this to ourselves? Why do we hate ourselves and try to change who we are? Why do we go through these crazy up’s and down’s in life where we lose control of what our purpose is?
We all go through those phases where we look back and think about how much we have changed. The life experiences we go through will in a way force you to change no matter how much you rebel and avoid the inevitable. We are in a generation, overpopulated, overanalyzed, overwhelmed with all its options, yet we are so underloved, underappreciated, and alone. We cry out for help and feel like no one can hear us, like really hear us.
There are days where we just want to be left alone and days where we want everyone to fly to our rescue and tell us what to do, as we proceed to avoid their “words of wisdom”. Nobody has all the answers. I always thought my dad was the smartest man I know, and to this day I adore him, but while I say that, I never really understood his inner conflicts until I opened my eyes and my heart.
You see we are very alike in the sense that I always try to be one step ahead, one step stronger and faster.
We both like to take control and enjoy being in charge. We both understand the realistic side of life where money can’t buy happiness, but the only way to find happiness is to have a stable income. To be able to provide for those around us and know they are taken care of. He worked like a slob throughout my childhood, and I always wondered why doesn’t he just take a break, why doesn’t he stop working we have enough? Then I found myself realizing I was doing the same thing to myself and asking myself why. The answer is that we never have enough… and this isn’t just regarding possessions, it is regarding our internal struggles.
People like me will tend to focus on everything else so that they can avoid their own battles. I personally have the maternal instinct of my mom, where I try to take care of everyone else’s problems, everyone else’s drama. I make sure others are ready for whatever lies ahead and always stand in the back saying if you fall I will catch you, if you burn I will protect you, if you need me, I will be there. And that is my curse. I created this version of myself where I neglect my self-worth and my mental health by protecting everyone else where I am falling, burning, and losing my need to be happy. I don’t regret it, believe me I am happy to help others, but as I got the motherly advice from a one Jodie Brownd, “If you can’t take care of yourself, you have absolutely no business taking care of anyone else.” She was absolutely correct.
It breaks my heart seeing people in distress, people feeling worthless and neglected.
People always asked me why I have such a broad variety of types of friends, and my answer is always, everyone is going through something and everyone needs someone to believe in them. I strongly believe in overcoming obstacles and taking control of your life, of your choices, of your future, and in the power of prayer. I believe that there will always be a better tomorrow if we take charge of our attitude today. I wake up every morning, take a deep breath, look in the mirror, and say “today will be a great day”. No matter my mood, no matter what happened yesterday. I could be bawling my eyes out like a baby and still will find myself saying “today will be a great day” because if you say it, and truly mean it, the universe will follow through and bring your positive mindset to meet a positive energy which will make it impossible to stop you.
Everything happens for a reason and the battles we face will determine how much stronger we will come out after.
You are powerful, you are beautiful, you are loved, you are capable, you can do anything. There is no limit when you truly and deeply want something as long as you possess three ideal qualities and exemplify them on a daily basis. Honesty, love, and appreciation. You cut out the toxic people who pull you down, you radiate a glow of achieving the impossible, you stop making excuses, you love yourself and you just do it. With every pulse in your heart, with every breathe in your lungs, with every stubborn mentality you have gained. You do it. And I promise, it will get better, and you will always be worth it.