I have come across multiple open letter style articles across social media recently. While many of them concern family, best friends, and even beloved pets, it got me thinking about the people I wanted to address the most at this point in my life. With that being said, I want to not only speak on my behalf, but for others as well, as I state why I want to thank all of those who doubted me.

After being diagnosed with ADHD my freshman year of high school, I was seen as an outcast among kids when in the classroom. Outside of school, I was friendly with many and known as someone who had a pretty decent social life. However, when I was in a room with a teacher lecturing and my peers taking notes, I was seen as someone who was vastly different. I took my tests outside of the classroom, needed multiple accommodations to support my attention deficit obstacles, and, worst of all, wait for it, I was actually vocal (!?) about my struggles with anxiety and lack of focus. Some coined it a call for attention, others a plea to be heard in the classroom. I called it coping. Yet, my form of coping was not favored by many, especially those in my grade and my teachers.

It was not long after my difficulties began to show in the classroom that teachers told me that I "wasn't trying" and I "needed to stop hating this class." I was told I would never go to college or succeed in the career that I wanted. When I declared to my teachers and friends that I was intending on becoming an English major, it was like they all took a sigh of relief. It was, clearly, the only subject I could do well. It was not only insulting, but it was detrimental to my learning because I truly was trying and I was trying without medication, not knowing how severely my learning disability would affect my education. Of course, I can sit here and say that the medication that I had started to take was the foundation for my current success. I think anyone who knows me personally understands that this, of course, is a lie. I think anyone who takes medication to support a learning obstacle or any cognitive differences will say that medication is not magic and that it takes effort alongside taking a pill everyday.

My struggles with this only worsened my freshman year of college. I will openly admit, I was difficult to get along with, living wise, and my perspective on the world was not ideal due to my halting of my medication. I wanted to prove to people that I could do without it just fine, and I knew I could. However, being naive about living away from home the first time and not knowing the difficulties every college freshman faces, I disregarded the fact that my short temperament and lack of patience would be tested in a much more debilitating way if I did not fix it. From the time I was sixteen, I have been made fun of for carrying around a little yellow bottle full of stimulants, and I have asked multiple questions concerning why I was the way I needed to work on my homework alone or why some days, I really just needed a mental health day to get my anxiety under control. I didn't have an answer other than it was due to my ADHD, which, we all know, is never a good answer because of the mixed opinions on it in society today. Now, having worked in the field of this disability given my intended future career of becoming an educational lawyer and legal advocate for students, I have been told I am not the only one who has dealt with this.

Looking back on everything now, I am entirely glad that I dealt with it. I am happy with the fact that I had multiple teachers tell me that I didn't try and that I would never see a graduation day from high school, let alone college. I am glad that I had the experience of other students talking about me behind my back, saying that I would be great to work with if I didn't take so much time with my coursework. While I didn't know it at the time (how could I have?) the negativity surrounding an already difficult situation was what I needed. Every time someone said something regarding my supposed lack of effort, my short fuse, or even my uncontrollable interrupting when I get excited or small nose tick (ADHD is great, huh?) it only motivated me to work harder and focus (yes, focus!) on my goals. This is not to say that I didn't have support, because believe me, I did. And I truly feel awful for those who aren't fortunate enough to have advocates for them in both the classroom and at home. I actually had more than I could have ever asked for. For that, I will forever be grateful and I wouldn't change that for the world. But, of course, when you are a teenager, even the smallest "bad" thing in your life is all you recognize during a tough time.

So, this is my letter to the teachers, peers, outsiders, and even my former friends, that doubted me and this is my letter to all of those who doubt any other kid with a learning disability. It sucks the life out of you and it just sucks in general. But it makes me who I am and millions of others who they are. So why should we apologize for having to take medication or being a little slower in speed in the classroom? I can take a look back and say that period in my life has granted me the permission to succeed in anything I want to do and it is all thanks to those who told me I would never be able to do any of it. I owe a huge amount of gratitude to anyone who doubted me. I wouldn't be the happy, well educated, and dare I say it, successful young adult I am today without you.