You don't realize what you did, and that's OK.
You don't know that I've learned to hide my emotions, and that I'm good at it. I can be dying inside, but on the outside, I am perfectly normal. Nothing ever seems to be wrong, so you continue to say hurtful things. You criticize the choices I make about my future, and have no remorse. All because I changed my major.
When I graduated high school, I was on the track to becoming a nurse. I had all the books to prepare myself for the TEAS, I had friends in the program, and I had excitement.
When I finished my first semester, I was feeling down. I was discouraged. I went into college with such rigor, but by diving head first into nursing courses, I started my fall. After a short semester struggle, I changed my major to my second favorite thing: History.
I was going to be a history teacher. I was going to teach the future generations about our past. How Hamilton grew up to be a hero and a scholar, how Hitler changed the course of history with his genocide, and how the world was never the same after the Twin Towers collapsed. I was ready to do this.
I grew up around teachers, and I grew up in a teaching household. I knew what I was getting into, but you didn't trust me. I mentioned my change to you, and you threw it down and spat on it. My future life was brought into play. Even my future salary was brought into play.
Being the people pleaser I am, I listened. I listened with open ears and an open heart. I listened as you laughed about how only 'coaches in Texas teach History,' and how I was 'better than teaching.'
I wish I never took any of that to heart. Some of the best history teachers in my life were not coaches. They were passioned individuals who made history come to life; who taught me how to take notes, and how to love learning. That's who I wanted to be for the future generations.
I am not better than teaching. Teaching is better than me. Teachers get so much thrown at them, and get criticized so heavily for their curriculum or methods – but they get the chance to teach future generations. Mold them into politicians, doctors, lawyers, and many more amazing professions that we need.
I took it to heart. I took your comments to heart, and changed my major. I'm now a marketing major who is on the track to work for an amazing company that makes dreams come true. I had to change everything in my life, because my backup plan was stomped on. I wish I could tell you this in person, but I can't. I have too much respect for you. I just wish you had the same respect for me.
Love, a future magic maker.
