Dear Self-Comparer,
Yes, I know life is tough, but you're going to make it through it. How can I say that? Because no matter what your situation is or where you come from or what's about to come, you are prepared to handle it. The one rule that I have to give you though is that you need to stop comparing the way you have taken ahold of life to how others have taken their life journey.
I want to tell you this because I am a person who has always compared myself to others. It's actually quite unhealthy. It's really hard to let go of such a habit that's difficult to realize you have it in the first place. We've been taught throughout most of our lives to compare ourselves to the likeness of others. When we were young, our parents would compare us to the neighborhood kids and say things like, "Natalie, why can't you be a little more like Susie down the street? She is always so well-dressed and well-behaved." Why do I need to be like Susie though? Why can't you just ask me to be myself and a more behaved self?
Then, we grew up and started to read. We became teenagers who would read those magazine covers at the grocery store checkout line. We would stand there looking at photoshopped bodies thinking, "Oh gosh. I need a body like that because look at how good that person looks." Every day from that point on we would crave to have an unrealistic body image like those magazine covers. As teenagers, we also started to forget to love ourselves because throughout middle school and high school were were surrounded by hundreds of individuals who lost themselves. We couldn't look at ourselves in the mirror without criticizing every aspect of our beautiful bodies. Instead of looking for a healthy and realistic body figure, we just sat and made these unattainable goals for ourselves that brought down our mental image and our mental health.
This hardly changes as we go into adulthood. We hear women in stores complaining about little things of their body. We see it all over the television when celebrities compare themselves to other well-known individuals. The cycle hasn't stopped. But, now you can it make it stop for yourself.
You are beautiful. Don't let anyone tell you differently. If you have medical conditions, don't let it prevent you from being the best person you can be. Look to improve yourself in an honest way. If you aren't happy with your body or feel that you are unhealthy, then start making healthy lifestyle choices. Set goals to exercise more and eat more veggies. Don't set "body goals" using the images of celebrity bodies that are almost impossible to obtain for anyone. Also, don't let your happiness revolve around others. Don't continue to push it away because of what you feel others will perceive of you. If you want to wear that dress or outfit to the party, screw what everyone else will say. You wear that dress and work it. If you continue to stop yourself from being happy, then you'll only create more regret as time goes by. Live life to the fullest and love yourself along life's crazy ride. Just know, I think you're great and deserve way more than your comparing self tells you.
