Dear sweet, sweet second choice,
Think back to last weekend. No, not the Netflix filled weekend, the weekend when you went out. You were so excited. You spent hours getting ready, jamming to that one song that gets you hype, preparing yourself for the next best night of your life. Right? You looked totally hot, the gym has been paying off, and your makeup was on-point girl. UGH, it was going to be awesome. I'm sure you were going out with your absolute best friend in the world, who probably looks like a super model. I mean, guys love her right? Whatever, that night was your night. .......Or at least you though that would be the case.
Look, I've been there, and done that way too many times. The cute guy from math class shows up, who your Best Friend totally knows you're obsessed with. He barely notices you, but makes a bee line for your stupidly perfect BFF. She can't help she's great, but the truth is, it sucks. Inside you're screaming "LOOK AT ME, I'M SO COOL AND I LIKE COOL MUSIC AND I'M SMART AND KINDA FUNNY SOMETIMES." inside you're also probably crying a little, but on the outside you're so cool, you don't even care. F*ck him, who needs him?...Right?
Wrong. It hurts you, more than you think it does. Because it doesn't just happen when you go out. It probably has become a typical thing for you. When you're talking to a guy, you're always second to something. Second to the other girls on Instagram or SnapChat, second to the other girls at the bar, second to everything. And I'm sure there's someone you're really, really invested in. The one you keep going back to again and again. When they talk to you it probably feels like they're bored, or settling.
Yep, typical for a second choice gal like yourself. I'm here to tell you to let it go. You want to know why you're the second choice girl? Because you're chasing really, really sh*tty guys. It's natural, girls totally love things they can't have, like those super fly shoes that are $600. Yeah, you'll never own a real pair. Those shoes are really similar to the guys you want to be with. The guys you probably want to fix. I mean, he's not the type to settle down, but he's probably told you no one has ever made him feel this way before. Or that he would totally stop talking to other girls for you. Stop falling for it. You're settling yourself right down into second place, and it's 100% a trap.
So, here's how to fix it. Put you first. Put yourself as number one. Work on YOU. Stop pretending to not care what everyone else thinks, and actually stop caring what everyone else thinks. DO YOU. Don't worry about embarrassing yourself when you're out, and stop precisely calculating what you're going to say in a text or how long you're going to wait to text back. How about you just start being yourself? Pull no punches, play no texting "games". If he isn't interested in you, know when to back off, because baby you're worth it (sorry, had to). And, stop placing the success of your nights out in some guy. Take it from me, the person who is going to put you as their first choice is out there. But they will love you for you, and they're a lot more likely to come along when you're being yourself--make sure you don't miss out on them while you're busy trying to win the attention as a second choice.
You is kind.
You is smart.
You is important.
You is not a second choice.
