To the girls who wish they were a bit shorter, taller, thinner or thicker:
To the guy who continuously exhausts himself studying but does not reach his own goals:
To anyone who feels inadequate because of a simple mistake at work:
I understand.
I know you obsess over the small things. You have a conversation with someone and then rack your brain afterward because you're afraid you said something dumb. I know you meet someone new and drive yourself crazy wondering if they like you, because you need them to like you. It's not necessarily that you're insecure. You just have this image of who you'd like to be, and you strive to be this person every single day. You want people to see you in this way. You know, realistically, that you'll never achieve this goal, because your imperfections are bountiful (as are everyone's), but that doesn't stop you from trying.
I know you think you need to be good at everything, even though this is unattainable. You set extremely high goals for yourself, essentially setting yourself up for failure (well, failure in your own eyes), but you can't seem to break the habit. I know you have this desire to prove yourself, and I know you wish you weren't like that. When you try to prove something, however, you're mainly trying to prove whatever it is to yourself, more so than to other people. I mean sure, you care what they think (we've already gone over that), but really you're trying to prove to yourself that you're good enough.
I know you tend to procrastinate schoolwork because you know even the most minor details will cause you stress. You write a sentence, delete it, and then repeat the process because you think it could sound better. Work that should take a half hour takes an hour and a half because you over-analyze absolutely everything. I know you're never quite satisfied with your grades, because you focus on your mistakes rather than your achievements.
I know you constantly compare yourself to those around you. You think, "I wish I was as funny as her," or, "His confidence is amazing." "She's so brilliant. Why can't I be that smart?" You see where others succeed and translate this as personal shortcomings. You tell yourself you need to be more like these people, rather than reminding yourself of your strong points. You actually have an internal checklist of things upon which you want to improve.
I know you concentrate on everything you perceive as a personal flaw, both mentally and physically. You know your imperfections better than anyone, and you hate them. You're afraid everyone sees you for your imperfections rather than your talents and strengths, because that's how you see yourself.
To the perfectionist:
I know you struggle with seemingly minuscule things, and I know you don't want to admit this. I know you actually see your perfectionist state of mind as a flaw in itself. Trust me, I understand, but hear me out:
You are not defined by your shortcomings or flaws, but rather by your character that develops in spite of these flaws. Embrace your imperfections. It is beneficial and healthy to work on aspects of yourself and grow as a human being; however, do not let these small details haunt you. Your perceived shortcomings do not limit you, they motivate and drive you to succeed. Take a step back and look at all you've accomplished in life thus far.
To the perfectionist:
Give yourself some credit. We are all flawed in unique ways, and I think that's pretty beautiful.
