Dear Mom and Dad,

I use that term loosely, after all, while you may be my birth parents I don't consider you my actual "mom" and "dad." I don't mean for that to sound rude, but it's just the truth. You've been out of my life for the past 19 years, and I don't see you coming back anytime soon.

But anyway...

Hi, how are you? How have you been? I hope you've been good, and while I might have sounded slightly unenthusiastic earlier, I really do hope that you're doing well. I don't pretend to know what you've been through because I know as much as you know about me. Nothing. Absolutely nothing. But let's change that, please.

Wherever you are in the world or if you've even left this world to go to a better place, just know this. I'm OK. I hope that every so often I cross your mind and for a second you think about how that little girl you left on the side of the streets in China is doing. I don't want to guilt-trip you into thinking that I'm mad at you because I'm not. I am actually so eternally grateful for what you've given me. You've given me the biggest gift and that's a chance at life.

I know that my life would be night and day different without the choice you made. I want to thank you so much for looking at the small malnourished baby girl and making the decision to give her a better life. There are so many things, that most of the time I take for granted, that I know that I wouldn't have if I was still yours.

I want you to know that I'm healthy and I'm happy. I have the most amazing people surrounding me that also are a constant reminder of how lucky I am to be here. I also have the most amazing parents in the world, not to discredit you or anything.

I want you to know that I'm getting an education that would not be possible without the sacrifice you made. I finished high school and I'm in college now, and while I'm studying as a dance major which I know isn't going to make any money, I'm in love with what I'm doing. I know you would be proud of me, and I can't wait to make you even more proud when I get to throw my cap up on graduation day in a few years.

I want you to know that I have long dark brown hair, which is currently dyed red and has been dyed almost every color out there. I have a small nose and dark brown eyes. I have a freckle on my right cheek. I have full lips that almost always have some color of lipstick on them. I'm five foot and two inches, and depending on the scale sometimes I'm at three inches. I have the loudest laugh and can smile at almost anything.

You're probably wondering why I'm telling you this, and I promise it wasn't just to give you an update on what I look like because you haven't seen me for the entirety of my life. I'm telling you because every time I look in the mirror I wonder if there's any part of me that looks like you. I mean of course there is because that's how genetics works, but I can't help but wonder if someone was to see me if they would say "She's a spitting image of her mother" or "She has her father's laugh and her mother's eyes." But then again I will never know because I will never know you. I will never know the type of person you were or are. I will never know what you look like; all I have is the reflection that shows up in the mirror.

I always wonder whether or not my love for certain things is a reflection of you. I wonder about the lives you both had before me, and after me. How did you two meet? Are you even still together? What do you do for a living? I want to know so much about you because we have a lifetime of catching up to do.

Lastly, once again, I want you to know that I'm OK. In fact, I'm better than OK. I have so much that I know I would never have without you.

I want you to know that I love you and always will and maybe in some distant life we will meet again, but for now, just know that.

Love always,

Your daughter.