We all overthink aspects of our lives. Whether it be decisions, regrets, self-worth, or general worries about the future, we all overthink something in our lives at one point in time. Often times we are so stuck inside our own heads that we feel like there is no way out. We physically cannot stop thinking about something we said, something we did, and we worry about every single outcome of it. None of it leaves you feeling positive, and you waste valuable time and energy worrying. The truth is, it is all rather exhausting. Then the phone rings two hours later and he is fine. You were worrying over nothing. So you start asking why you do this to yourself all the time?
On one hand, overthinking is when you get caught in those loops where you are just stuck and thinking about one single event over and over again. You might start over analyzing something that happened recently, regretting an action you took on that event that happened, or worrying about how the future could be affected by this event. Either way, those worries are exhausting. On the other hand, you can overthink decisions in a similar way. Some call this action indecisiveness. You will often analyze these things so deeply into the ground to the point where you can no longer make a decision anymore.
I do not believe that overthinking is such a bad thing. People who overthink do so because they set high expectations for themselves and are usually very intelligent and compassionate people. I think sometimes in the right situations...it can affect us positively. However, overthinking can also cause you to not be able to think about anything else and it can also go about affecting your life in a negative way.
In most cases, overthinking can become habitual and stressful. Our conscience can have a way of making us go insane if all we do is overthink things. Our conscience has ways of making us second guess every answer we put down on a test, a text message, and every decision we have ever made. It is not necessarily that we want to be negative or indecisive, we do not want to let our conscience control our thoughts and emotions...but sometimes it does, and often times we cannot help it. Your over processing of thoughts, situations, and problems could occur because you are second guessing yourself, trying to protect yourself or others, or worrying too much. It could even be that it is simply just an annoying habit you have involuntarily developed because of previous situations that have taken place in your life.
You hate the things you cannot understand because instead of brushing them off and letting them go, you let yourself think in circles. You get absolutely nothing accomplished and you get yourself no where. You have reason after reason as to why certain things are the way they are and you have strong faith in a lot of them, but the little doubt that you could be wrong is enough to keep you harping on yourself and the same old things.
Here is a list of things that those who struggle with overthinking can relate to and want those who surround them to understand:
1. It may actually be "no big deal" but to us, it is.
Whether it is trying to plan a trip to the beach, going out to dinner, or being told "I have to talk to you," it makes us anxious. Those who are not overthinkers will tell us "do not worry about it" or "it is not a big deal" but that does not change the fact that we are going to dwell on it or stress about it in the meantime, so bare with us.
2. We will dwell on past decisions and situations, and trust me, we KNOW we need to "just let it go."
You would be surprised how many times we will tell ourselves to let it go an to stop worrying about it, it is just not that easy. For example, let us say, your boyfriend is going out to the bars with the guys (where you know a bunch of girls will be)...no matter how much trust we have in them, it will always make us nervous whether or not there is a legitimate reason for our nervousness. So please, know that we would rather let the things that seem so little go, and we will try our best, but it will take us time. So be patient and bare with us.
3. Way too often, we think of the worst possible case scenario.
If one thing goes wrong at the start of the day, the rest of the day, or week, will continue to get worse. Once something goes wrong, everything after that brings our minds back to the reasons we are having a "bad day" even if we really are not having a bad day. If we receive a message with nothing but the dreadful letter "K" we immediately think someone is angry with us or that we are in trouble. Do not get frustrated with us and our complaining sometimes we just have days like that. Everyone has those days. Just simply remind us that it is only a bad day, not a bad life!
4. We CARE, A LOT, sometimes we care FAR too much!
When we get in an argument with our significant other, we do not want to stop until we get to the bottom of it. Until both of us understand why the argument is significant and we truly understand why something upset us, we do not want to just let the argument go. We will do anything and everything in our power to try to prevent these things that spark arguments. Why? BECAUSE WE CARE ABOUT YOU. Sometimes we do not have any other way to show you just how much you mean to us so sometimes an argument or disagreement might be necessary and even beneficial.
5. That decision someone calls little, does not seem so little to an over thinker.
Deciding what to wear can take us hours, those decisions on what movie we want to watch, or where we want to go eat, things that would take any average person maybe a solid minute could take an over thinker a good five minutes. We put more thought in how to respond to a simple text than some people would put into a three page paper. So try not to get frustrated with us when we are "fashionably late" or when we are taking two hours shopping just to decide that the shoes we wanted so badly we do not really need or actually have a real purpose for.
Did you relate to any of those? Did those sound familiar? Sometimes people do not fully understand the reasons behind an over thinker...but that is okay. Know that it is not always a bad thing. Just be sure that you can recognize when exactly overthinking is becoming a negative aspect in your life. When you realize this...stop worrying. Live in the moment. Do not worry about the things you have no control over.
When I look back on my life, my happiest and favorite memories, were the ones where I was not thinking or over analyzing every bit of information I was given. They were the moments where I let go of my worries and just lived my life and enjoyed the present moment. Life is always happening, and the time I spend thinking about things, I could actually spend that time doing things. We only have one life to live. There are so many times that we need to take steps back and simply enjoy the life we have in front of us.
