An Open Letter To The Manipulator

An Open Letter To The Manipulator

I saw right through you, actually.

Dear friend,

I am addressing you as a "friend", although you most certainly are not because you used to be. You used to be somebody very close to me, who I cared about and trusted, and now you aren't anymore. Good riddance, am I right?

To all who I know personally: this is not aimed as an indirect to any one person specifically in my life. Please avoid personalizing my words and/or believing that this pertains to you because it doesn't.

But I think what you did was no good.

Because this is, exactly, what you did: you took somebody who cared about you, who trusted you and enjoyed spending time with you, who did almost everything for you because you deserved it and because you guys were friends, and that's what friends do, right? And you used that to your advantage; you lied to me, you told me things that you knew would change my opinions of other people, which only really served you, and you used me and my relationships to better your own life. You made me feel important only so I would not leave you behind (although I would not have done that anyway), not because you cared about me but because you just did not want to be alone. You said things that would keep me close to you, either out of guilt or responsibility. And once somebody new came along, I was old news and no longer of any use. Bye!!

You have manipulated me extremely hard, in ways that I am sure are still secret, and it has left its impact on me.

But this is not an angry letter, and I am willing, actually, to move on. I am actually writing to tell you just that - that I have decided not to think about this anymore. You have manipulated me enough; since I can escape you, I will.

Like everybody has advised me, I have finally accepted that I do not need you in my life and it is time to move on. Clearly, I did not matter to you... I just wish that you had talked to me about what was going on and were clear about how you needed me instead of using me and throwing me aside.

I hope that eventually you understand how it is and is not okay to treat people and you move on from this hateful place in your life. I am not on any high horse at all when I say this; truly, I am coming from a place of concern from somebody who has had a lot of memories with you. Eventually, you will meet somebody who has treated you like you have treated me and then you will understand.

I also hope that, in the future, I will have the strength to get out of these relationships sooner. I saw your manipulation happening, yet I hoped it would go away or was a one time thing; I guess I've learned that lesson too. Good people do not deserve to be treated like they are bad.

Good luck with your life, and I wish you introspection and a future filled with plenty of lessons on how it is and is not okay to coexist with others. Start by not lying, or, if you do, continue by not saying hurtful things out of embarrassment.

All the best,

An ex-friend

Cover Image Credit: Social Consciousness

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30 Things I'd Rather Be Than 'Pretty'

Because "pretty" is so overrated.

Nowadays, we put so much emphasis on our looks. We focus so much on the outside that we forget to really focus on what matters. I was inspired by a list that I found online of "Things I Would Rather Be Called Instead Of Pretty," so I made my own version. Here is a list of things that I would rather be than "pretty."

1. Captivating

I want one glance at me to completely steal your breath away.

2. Magnetic

I want people to feel drawn to me. I want something to be different about me that people recognize at first glance.

3. Raw

I want to be real. Vulnerable. Completely, genuinely myself.

4. Intoxicating

..and I want you addicted.

5. Humble

I want to recognize my abilities, but not be boastful or proud.

6. Exemplary

I want to stand out.

7. Loyal

I want to pride myself on sticking out the storm.

8. Fascinating

I want you to be hanging on every word I say.

9. Empathetic

I want to be able to feel your pain, so that I can help you heal.

10. Vivacious

I want to be the life of the party.

11. Reckless

I want to be crazy. Thrilling. Unpredictable. I want to keep you guessing, keep your heart pounding, and your blood rushing.

12. Philanthropic

I want to give.

13. Philosophical

I want to ask the tough questions that get you thinking about the purpose of our beating hearts.

14. Loving

When my name is spoken, I want my tenderness to come to mind.

15. Quaintrelle

I want my passion to ooze out of me.

16. Belesprit

I want to be quick. Witty. Always on my toes.

17. Conscientious

I want to always be thinking of others.

18. Passionate

...and I want people to know what my passions are.

19. Alluring

I want to be a woman who draws people in.

20. Kind

Simply put, I want to be pleasant and kind.

21. Selcouth

Even if you've known me your whole life, I want strange, yet marvelous. Rare and wondrous.

22. Pierian

From the way I move to the way I speak, I want to be poetic.

23. Esoteric

Do not mistake this. I do not want to be misunderstood. But rather I'd like to keep my circle small and close. I don't want to be an average, everyday person.

24. Authentic

I don't want anyone to ever question whether I am being genuine or telling the truth.

25. Novaturient

..about my own life. I never want to settle for good enough. Instead I always want to seek to make a positive change.

26. Observant

I want to take all of life in.

27. Peart

I want to be honestly in good spirits at all times.

28. Romantic

Sure, I want to be a little old school in this sense.

29. Elysian

I want to give you the same feeling that you get in paradise.

30. Curious

And I never want to stop searching for answers.
Cover Image Credit: Favim

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An Open Letter To My Childhood Best Friend

To Molly Zucker, I hope this article makes everyone surrounding you hear your obnoxious, priceless laugh.


Dear childhood best friend,

When I look back on my childhood, there is only one person who reminds me of home: you. After moving out of state and time passing on, it's easy to forget where you came from and parts of your childhood. However, the minute I see your face and hear your goofy laugh, the feeling of home returns. You bring out the fun and young in me because let's be honest, you turned out to be the adventurous spontaneous one and I'm just a boring nerd in Organic Chemistry. No one can make my pure childhood laughs come out or make me feel as free-spirited and lively as much as you do.

Lexi Garber

We used to ride our bikes around town, eat salt and vinegar chips until our tongues burned, and do each other's makeup and nails. We would go to the mall and dress ourselves in this horrendous outfits, but ones that we actually thought were cute at the time (Why did you let me wear half of the stuff I did?) We wrote each other cards during Recess and talked about how much we would gossip on our Friday night sleepovers. I could recognize your cupcake vanilla perfume scent from a mile away, even from this day and when I do smell it, it brings back such a warm and comforting familiar feeling.

Lexi Garber

We would talk about what our future would be like, how fun high school would be and what it would be like if we went to the same college. I didn't know that I would move before all of that but little did I know we would remain best friends and talk every day still to this day. Although there are moments where it hurts me that I didn't get to watch you grow out of your crazy, middle school self and into this beautiful and amazing girl, I know one day we will be close in distance again. We still talk about our future like we know what's going to happen and hopefully, we will live together in NYC one day, like we've always talked about. Who knows where we will both end up, but no matter how far we are in distance, we will always be close at heart.

Lexi Garber

The best part of being long distance best friends is that when our other friends annoy us, we can randomly Facetime each other at any time for a quick laugh and a reminder of how sacred our special bond is. We get to plan trips to see each other and show each other what has changed in our lives, but there is one thing that will never change: our friendship. So here's to you being my maid of honor, crazy aunt for my future kids, my soulmate, best friend and partner in crime. You bring out the happiness and best in me and I will love you always and forever.


Your childhood best friend

Lexi Garber

Lexi Garber

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