You had your work cut out for you when you met me. I still remember the first weekend after my break-up, how you chased an imaginary waterfall with me all day and then still attempted to watch the entire Lord of the Rings trilogy. And even though we were supposed to be celebrating your birthday, you talked me through my pain for the first time. You were slowly becoming my best friend, and, at the time, I had no idea.
I remember crushing hard and trying to act like I didn't have any feelings for you. For over a year, I lied to myself and others by assuring we were "just friends," and finally I had to admit it to my roommates. I remember being shocked when you found out and friend-zoned me, even though I knew you were doing it for my own good. You knew then that I was nowhere near ready to date again, even after all that time.
And, as it turned out, you were right. Only a few months later, you watched my world crash all around me. You watched me heal physically, but then you watched me emotionally shut myself off from the world, even you. You put up with my cold shoulder and my constant faking. You watched me almost deteriorate from my anxiety, and you lovingly tried to understand it, even though I didn't even understand it.
And then, you watched me fall for you. You watched me, unsuccessfully, attempt to flirt with you every day. And, finally, after several failed attempts, I accepted your invitation to go on a date. I remember us sitting and talking for hours after we had already finished all of our food. I think I knew then that I loved you, but you watched me reject you still.
You were there for me, even after I lied to you repeatedly about my past. And you accepted me for everything that I was, even the bad parts. Then, slowly, I realized that I loved you after you had already proven your love for me multiple times. Even through all of my trust issues, all of the hurt from the past, all of my anxious tendencies, and all of my brokenness you took my mangled heart and reminded me of Christ's love for me. You reminded me that even when I feel completely alone, Jesus is always right beside me. You reminded me that I don't need anyone or anything but Him. And with a love like Jesus, you loved me.
So thank you for being my best friend, but thank you mostly for pointing me straight to Jesus every day and helping me believe in love again.
