To the guy who stopped me on the street and told me to smile,
Hi, my name is Kylin.
Why am I introducing myself? Well, the thing is you actually don't know me at all.
Stopping someone on the street if you do not know them, is weird. Maybe it would have been okay if I dropped something, or if you needed directions, or I had something in my teeth. Maybe then it is okay to stop a stranger in the street. But when is it not okay to stop a stranger in the street? Well, it is not okay to stop me in the street because you think they need to smile yet that was precisely the reason you stopped me. You felt compelled to give me your opinion, so now let me return the favor.
Thank you so much for reminding me I did not have a smile on my face. I must have clearly forgotten. Needless to say, this is actually not what I was thinking when you stopped me. My first thought was of that of shock, I was not expecting to be walked up to, let alone confronted when I was just trying to run my daily errands. The next thought was of my surroundings, I mentally mapped out where I was and escape routes nearby. Why? Because I was afraid of you. We live in a day and age where shootings occur daily because a woman gave a man a look he did not like or that he misinterpreted. So, in case the conversation went south, I had my route mapped.
Then you opened your mouth and my next thoughts were of careful contemplation. I am drawing this out for you slowly because I truly believe you do not understand the implications of your comment. After you shoved your opinion in my face, which was along the lines of “you are a very pretty girl, you should smile," I had to think quickly. How was I going to respond to this in a way where I kept my dignity, but you did not feel offended? I know we are strangers, but you see, I have to care if you get offended because of much more than decency and acknowledging your feelings.
It is because as I mentioned earlier, there could be a dark path if I say something you do not like. After all, I do not know anything about you, so I must calculate my options and make the decision to smile. Then you smile, satisfied, and we part ways. You enjoy your day and I now have a gross feeling that no shower can remove. You, a man, felt you had the right to tell me to smile as if it was my duty to please you. I am sure you had the best intentions but let me share a secret with you: Yes, a smile is beautiful, but the curve on my face today was not an indicator of my mood or my appearance. In fact, there are about a hundred reasons I am not smiling at any given moment and none of them have to do with the above. Most of them have to do with me concentrating on not tripping while walking or something complicated like that.
Hope your day is well,
Kylin.
