I wish with all of my being that you could know what I'm going through. I want you to think all of my thoughts, feel all of my feelings, and experience what this is like. You see, I've tried like hell to get over you. I really have. But still, every time I close my eyes, there you are.
I wish you could hear the countless playlists I've made about you. Perhaps if you could listen to those melodies or hear those lyrics, you might come to realize that we should be together... Only we shouldn't. We don't fit together, and I know that. Whatever we had before didn't work out and there's a reason for that. Despite all that, I can't help but compare your eyes to a summer's day, or think of you every time someone in one of my classes wears your cologne.
To be honest, Facebook is quite possibly worst. I can't bring myself to unfriend you. After all, things didn't end bad and we have too much history to let that all slip away. Still, I find myself stewing every time you tag her in a post. Because now, not only have I been replaced, I feel like I've been forgotten.
You used to tag me in posts like that. We used to do everything together. I really want to like her. She seems very nice, like a girl you honestly deserve. But with every smile in a picture or heart eye emoji, I can feel myself slipping deeper into the darkness of my mind.
You've moved on, and no matter how long it's been, I can't seem to remove you from my heart. As my first love, I suppose you'll always be there. I've heard that firsts never really leave you. However, I never once expected it to be this painful.
To be honest, I'm afraid to love again. Friends have tried to get me back out there, sending me on dates and giving me the numbers of people I'm sure are very nice. Even so, I can't bring myself to care for someone like I cared for you.
Because you had/have my heart. Every breath I take seems to have you in it, and every atom of my being wants you to be the one for me. I used to fantasize about our future together.
I always thought, even when we weren't together, that you'd realize you loved me and it'd be like in the movies. You'd find me off somewhere, and confess your feelings for me, then we'd live happily ever after. But with every sad song played, I realize it's never going to be like that. Life - especially love - doesn't work that way.
I almost want to hate you for not returning my feelings. I never could. As much as I hurt, I want to see you happy. Even if it kills me inside. So I smile through my tears, because as much as I want your affection, it's not mine to take.
I'm sure my friends are all sick of hearing about you. The countless times I've mentioned you or acted a fool because of you must be tiring. Although I suppose we all have those little annoyances about us. I guess mine is you.
There aren't enough words to express how I feel about you. This could go on forever. But I know you don't have that time, you're a busy guy. So I'll leave it at this: please don't forget me.
If I can't have your heart, I want to at least know I have a little of your mind. I'd wish for you to remember that time I laughed so hard I spat water all over the front seat of your car, or how I looked under the lights of the stage, right next to you.
Remember the night we leaned the car seats back under the open sunroof and gazed at the stars. When we sang along to Disney and our late night trips through the country. High school dances. The smell of my perfume. Think fondly of our time together. If I can't have you, please at least have a part of me.