Dear Girls,

I know exactly how you feel. That feeling you get when you see pictures of girls from high school with their huge group of friends wearing matching colored dresses and doing cringe-worthy poses for the camera.

Is it loneliness? Is it desperation? Or are we just socially awkward and anxious?

I can't even begin to tell you the amount of times I've approached another girl in an attempt to make a friend, but then she ends up ignoring me like I'm a pimply-faced teenage boy that was trying to get her number. Why does this happen when all I really want is a shopping buddy, someone to get my nails done with, spend time with, and make memories with?

Girls can be mean, petty, superficial, and just plain rude. I've had girl friends who I thought were my friends for months or even years, who ended up dumping me like I was spoiled milk. They give you a friendly smile, and then criticize you the second you're out of earshot. No wonder it's hard to make friends once you're past your childhood years. Some girls left their maturity in middle school, while some never had maturity in the first place.

I'm the girl who laughs at fart jokes, watches dumb cartoons, and likes to watch documentaries about conspiracy theories for fun. I hate parties and small talk. I don't think my socks ever match, and I love eating pizza in bed. I don't pretend to like kale (be honest, it tastes like shit), and I don't care if I wear the same sweatshirt three days a week (which happens often when you have to pay to do laundry in college).

I have about four close girl friends, most whom I've known since childhood. I have a few other acquaintances, and that's about it. But you know what? I'm totally okay with it. I've been a part of a huge group of girls in the past, and let me tell you, it's quite exhausting. I never seemed to find pleasure in spending time with several other girls, as most of the time we spent together was quite dull and not intellectually stimulating whatsoever.

Pretending to have fun while being bored out of my mind wasn't my ideal way to spend my free time. To be honest, I don't even think they really liked me that much, and probably didn't even care if I hung out with them or not. The worst part was, they pretended to care, although it was obvious that they didn't.

I was the girl who sat there while listening to my "friends" criticize whichever "friend" wasn't at the table with us. I do not care if so-and-so's prom dress was ugly and I couldn't care less if so-and-so is "slutty" for talking to a new boy every week.

So there I was, out to dinner with my "friends," my chin in my palm, while observing the pettiness. Was I supposed to be having fun? Is this what it's like to have girl friends? If so, it definitely wasn't for me.

I can't pretend to lie and say I didn't try and fit in with them. I really did, although I didn't feel like myself. I felt like I was living a lie. I was sick of wearing fancy sweaters and nice boots when I really just wanted to wear a baggy sweatshirt. I was sick of saying, "I'll just have a small salad" so my 'friends' wouldn't judge me even though I really wanted to shove a huge bacon burger down my throat like there was no tomorrow.

Now that I'm older, I carefully choose who I spend my time with. The few girl friends who I do have are awesome, and we always have fun together.

I'm here to tell whoever is reading this that it's okay if you don't have a huge group of girl friends, because they most likely don't even like each other anyway. It's better to have a few close friends who you actually enjoy spending time with, than a huge group of friends who you don't even really like.

Believe it or not, but there are girls out there who are mature, fun to spend time with, and ones you can have a quality conversation with without gossip. I've found a few of them, and I'm not letting them go anytime soon. They know who they are, and I'm quite lucky to have found them.

Trust me, there are others of our kind out there, you just have to search far and wide to find them. But once you do find them, they're worth the search.

Sincerely,

Sam