You aren't too aware of your actions, I'm sure, and you probably don't mean to hurt me in any way. But the truth is, I'm hurting anyway. Perhaps I'm over reacting, or maybe I'm being possessive, but that doesn't change the way I feel one bit. I'm upset, and there's no way to get rid of that.

When I first met the friends that you stole, I was so happy. They taught me things I couldn't learn on my own. They got me through many, many hardships. They went out of their way for me, as I did for them. They always had my back. That was, until you came along. They would do anything for you, even if it means leaving me out or leaving me behind.

I don't know what I did to deserve this. Not only have you stolen some of the most important people from me, but you have treated me like crap in the process. My opinion never matters, and no matter how much effort I put into something, you can always do it better. You get things handed to you, and I have to sit and watch as everyone praises you. And you have scared me to the point where I'm afraid you could steal every friend I have just by talking to them. I feel as though I have to keep them away from you, just so I can keep them in my life. It sounds selfish, but it's for my own good. Maybe I'm not the best person, but I don't deserve to lose everyone important to me because of you. Maybe I'm not the pretty friend, or the funny friend, or the nicest person to be around, but that doesn't mean I don't deserve to be surrounded by people I love. We all make mistakes, and I'm sure you and I both have made many, but our mistakes don't define us. We do not make mistakes to be bad people, we make mistakes to learn from them. Sometimes, I've let people down, but I've tried so hard to keep from doing that again. You cannot define me for any decision I have made, when you could have made worse.

I am not saying you are a bad person, nor am I implying that you haven't deserved the "praise" you've gotten. Perhaps it's me being jealous of everything you can get so easily, while I have to work to get the things you have. I don't want to put you down, but I can't keep doing things for others that make me unhappy. I can't keep acting like I'm fine with you guys hanging out and leaving me out in the process. I can't keep acting like I'm fine with her constantly being by your side and barely having time for me anymore because she always has to be with you. I can't keep acting like you saying, "you'll be with your boyfriend anyway." is something to take lightly. I'm always with my boyfriend because he actually wants to have me around. He doesn't leave me out, nor does he make me feel lonely. My boyfriend is also aware of the fact that I have friends, and wouldn't be mad if I hung out with them once in awhile. I can't keep acting like I'm fine and I'm happy for you guys, because I'm just not. And I'm not happy because I don't deserve to be put through this, and I know that now more than ever.

I did not deserve to be dropped when our night could have been so much fun. I did not deserve to be not invited to sleepovers and fun picnics. I did not deserve to be pushed around and treated differently, just because a boy is in my life and not yours. I did not deserve to have the people who mean everything to me taken away from me and changed because of you. I'm not sure when or if I could ever have my true friendship back with them. You've probably said so much about me to them, how do I know what to say or think?

But I guess there's nothing that I can change. They are very happy to have you in their lives, and they don't seem to miss me too much. Just be careful with things like this, hurting people isn't something to get used to getting away with. But I can't change anything or tell you how to live your life. I can't tell you who to be friends with and who not to be friends with. Whether or not my friends ditch me for you is not something I can control. I just live on, and hope for the best for you and them. That's all I can do. So I wish you the best.