“I wish I could beat you up”… that was my first reaction.
Then my rationality set in. I’d love to talk to you. What is it about my sister? Are you threatened by her? She’s pretty great. She’s smart, funny, athletic, likeable… the list goes on. Maybe that’s not it.
Here’s what I think: You’re bullying her because you’re insecure. Your bullying puts her down. It’s easier to bully her than to have the possibility of people liking her. Bullying gives you power. It makes you feel better.
From someone who has been a bystander, a victim and unfortunately, on rare occasions, a perpetrator in the nasty cycle of bullying, I am pleading with you. Stop being mean. Stop making up lies. Stop spreading rumors. Stop excluding. Life is short. Cruelty leaves everyone with scars. If Tyrone, a kid in my second grade class is reading this, I am deeply sorry for laughing with everyone when the cool kids made fun of your stutter. To this day, I hold guilt from that moment. To my sisters bully, you may not feel remorse tomorrow, but in five or ten years you will. When the novelty of high school popularity wears off, you’ll look back and be disappointed in your behavior.
I am not going to act on my initial irrational thought. I am not going to beat you up. I would only be perpetuating this terrible cycle. I am going to treat you with the same respect I hope you will treat my sister with.
I trust that you are not a bad person. I trust that you are a lost and insecure teenage girl trying to navigate your way through a difficult and complex world. Don’t project your own problems on to my sister. She has her own issues to deal with. Be kind. Kindness is something you can control. I am not asking you to be best friends with my sister. You don’t even need to like her. Just be a decent human being. Treat her with civility. Be someone that others can envy for your kindness. I’ll end this letter with a quote.
“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” – Maya Angelou
Make the people around you feel special and important. Don’t be a bully.
