An Open Letter To The Gay Millennial

An Open Letter To The Gay Millennial

Advice from history and current events
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To whom it may concern,

The new way of life observed and practiced by the gay community is free to a comparatively obtuse degree when placed beside its horrific past. However, is this newfound freedom fully appreciated by gay millennials? Are we thankful for the past sacrifices made by ancestral members of our community, or do we simply take them for granted with carelessness and frivolity?

It is important to understand that gay history is full of oppression, suppression, and depression. Indeed, past inquisition, brutality, and the eventual government atrocity of a certain negligence from the 1980's to 1990's committed by the elite of the USA has left a lasting brand upon the working backs of gay, lesbian, trans, bisexual, questioning, and queer people, who ironically serve societies which have, for centuries, encouraged civilian participation in the bodily and emotional destruction of the peoples belonging to this umbrella community.

The back alleys and restrooms of clubs, bars, and restaurants; abandoned houses and house parties alike; rooftops, rivers, forests, fields, and basements all were places of first and last love, as well as bloodshed, fear, and death for anyone even thought of as gay or bisexual. All these places could either be paradise or live nightmares for LGBTQ people, yet only recently, and ever so suddenly, the mental paradigm has turned itself around, and the force of collective empathy has become stronger than ever, gaining in momentum with each new natural discovery. And now with progress and providence, we have fun apps like Grindr.

Unfortunately all this new and sudden freedom, and I use the term loosely, has permitted an air of promiscuity to linger from the olden days when gay men could hardly love one another, and unquestionably not overtly. The most painful part of it is that now we have the opportunity to love and marriage, which stands before us like a pearly gate ajar, however our history seems to have been so damaging that the desire for sex and fear of betrayal is encoded more strongly within our gay genetics than that of love or emotional connection. A demon was born within gay culture, and must now be exorcized by those of us who seek to love and be loved.

You may ask yourself, "what even qualifies a person to be promiscuous?" To this, I impart permission to the reader to consider and think for himself or herself on the meaning of this word. Promiscuity is described similarly to and shares associations with words such as wantonness, licentiousness, and immorality. Wantonness being the lack of consideration for the feelings of others, it is simple to see how promiscuity and promiscuous persons might perpetuate within themselves, and spread to others, a harmful attitude or negatively selfish philosophy which would affect not only sex, but also some favorable aspects of personality such as generosity, and may corrupt things like motivation overall. Concepts in the same manner with licentiousness and immorality, however, are subject to social and cultural opinion, such things essentially being defined as taboos. This brings to question the quality and scope of gay social-consciousness, self-awareness, and prudence.

So how do we go about fixing this? Perhaps by awakening others and ourselves to the reality of intimacy inherently linked with the act of sex, learning to empathize with those who develop romantic feelings for us after such potentially affectionate moments. Perhaps by dissociating our selves from random sex as a recreational activity, and it from gay culture as an indicator of desirability, popularity, or attractiveness. Perhaps again by learning to love more parts of ourselves than the physiological supposed to be used for making love, and finally, by learning to play our predestined and exemplary part of propriety in change through history. To be perfectly clear, the purpose of this letter is not to "shame" or embarrass anyone for their sexual practices, but to implore some degree of thought in the minds of gay men, to spark some insight to consideration of what our culture has become, and who we really believe ourselves to be.


Respectfully yours,
Alique Wicks

Cover Image Credit: palmspringslife.com

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A Senior's Last Week Of High School

The bittersweet end.
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Well, this is it. This is what we've worked so hard the last four years - who am I kidding - basically what seems like our whole lives for. This is the very last week we will set foot as a student in our high school's hallways. As most schools are getting ready to set their seniors free at last, it all begins to set in - the excitement, the anxiousness, and also the sentiment and nostalgia.

For seniors, the years since our first day as a freshman at the bottom of the high school totem pole have seemed endless, but as we look back on these last few weeks, we realize that this year in particular has gone by extraordinarily fast. It was just yesterday that we were sitting in our classrooms for the very first time, going to our 'last first' practice, and getting our first taste of the (very real) "senioritis". With all that's going on in our lives right now, from sports and clubs, finals, and the sought after graduation ceremony, it's hard to really sit down and think about how our lives are all about to become drastically different. For some it's moving out, and for some it's just the thought of not seeing your best friend on the way to fourth period English; either way, the feels are real. We are all in a tug of war with the emotions going on inside of us; everything is changing - we're ready, but we're not.

THE GOOD. Our lives are about to begin! There is a constant whirlwind of excitement. Senior awards, getting out of school early, parties, and of course Graduation. We are about to be thrust into a world of all new things and new people. Calling our own shots and having the freedom we have so desperately desired since the teenage years began is right around the corner. Maybe the best part is being able to use these new things surrounding you to grow and open your mind and even your heart to ideas you never could before. We get the chance to sink or swim, become our own person, and really begin to find ourselves.

Things we don't even know yet are in the works with new people we haven't even met yet. These friendships we find will be the ones to last us a lifetime. The adventures we experience will transform into the advice we tell our own children and will become the old tales we pass down to our grandkids when they come to visit on the weekends. We will probably hate the all night study sessions, the intensity of finals week, and the overpowering stress and panic of school in general, just like we did in high school... But it will all be worth it for the memories we make that will outlive the stress of that paper due in that class you absolutely hate. As we leave high school, remember what all the parents, teachers, coaches, and mentors are telling you - this are the best times of our lives!

THE BAD. The sentimental emotions are setting in. We're crying, siblings are tearing up, and parents are full-out bawling. On that first day, we never expected the school year to speed by the way it did. Suddenly everything is coming to an end. Our favorite teachers aren't going to be down the hall anymore, our best friends probably won't share a class with us, we won't be coming home to eat dinner with our families...

We all said we wanted to get out of this place, we couldn't wait, we were ready to be on our own; we all said we wouldn't be "so emotional" when the time came, but yet here we are, wishing we could play one more football game with our team or taking the time to make sure we remember the class we liked the most or the person that has made us laugh even when we were so stressed we could cry these past few years. Take the time to hug your parents these last few months. Memorize the facial expressions of your little sister or brother. Remember the sound of your dad coming home from work. These little things we take for granted every day will soon just be the things we tell our college roommate when they ask about where we're from. As much as we've wanted to get out of our house and our school, we never thought it would break our heart as much as it did. We are all beginning to realize that everything we have is about to be gone.

Growing up is scary, but it can also be fun. As we take the last few steps in the hallways of our school, take it all in. Remember, it's okay to be happy; it's okay to be totally excited. But also remember it's okay to be sad. It's okay to be sentimental. It's okay to be scared, too. It's okay to feel all these confusing emotions that we are feeling. The best thing about the bittersweet end to our high school years is that we are finally slowing down our busy lives enough to remember the happy memories.

Try not to get annoyed when your mom starts showing your baby pictures to everyone she sees, or when your dad starts getting aggravated when you talk about moving out and into your new dorm. They're coping with the same emotions we are. Walk through the halls remembering the classes you loved and the classes you hated. Think of the all great times that have happened in our high school years and the friends that have been made that will never be forgotten. We all say we hated school, but we really didn't. Everything is about to change; that's a happy thing, and a sad thing. We all just have to embrace it! We're ready, but we're not...

Cover Image Credit: Facebook

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In A Society Where Sex Sells And Women Are Trying To Be Heard

You are a valuable human being, don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

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I think it's fair to say we all have our guilty pleasures in life.

Those romantic comedies, steamy novels, or dramatic tv shows.

We love seeing the super attractive guy, with the super attractive girl.

But I think what society has picked up on, and what continues to happen, is women are being overly sexualized.

Whether it be a commercial, a show, a movie, a picture, or advertisement, sex will sell just about anything.

And I know this happens to men as well, and sure we don't mind looking at it, and might not even notice any real problems, but it is a problem.

We live in a society where men and women want to be heard, they want their voices out on the platforms for the world to hear, they want to change, and action.

We want to end major problems like human trafficking, sexual predators, and rape culture.

But let's put up a billboard of a half-dressed woman for children to see.

Let's make this simple.

No a woman or man for that matter, wearing very little clothing does not mean they are open or willing to engage with anyone sexually. This does not excuse rape, catcalling, or other sexual comments.

But listen, I am a woman, and if there is a man on the beach with a six-pack, It might catch my eye.

Just as a woman with a very revealing top may get a couple of glances, but this still doesn't have to be made sexual or overly dramatic. We can notice, and control our thoughts.

But here's the thing, if we continue to push sex, it really doesn't help our case.

As a woman I know if I walk into a job interview I'm going to look my best because my goal is to show I am a sophisticated individual worth being hired, it sends a message, just as walking into an interview with sweatpants would be.

I know I can speak for all men and women and say we all desire respect, as we should.

We don't want unwanted attention.

But there are a lot of other things we don't want either,

as I mentioned before, predators, sex traffickers, or rapists.

I believe clothing or lack thereof do not lead to such things, but rather things like pornography, graphic movies, shows, or magazines can "encourage."

NOT intentionally.

But think about it, really.

They create a fantasy, which means they aren't real. But when we continue to promote these things it becomes real for some people.

We as women want to be heard, we want respect, we want equality, but I'm telling you we are not going to get that in a society that banks off of sex. Or sexually exploiting ourselves.

Because

1. WE SHOULD NEVER HAVE TO SELL OURSELVES LIKE THAT TO ANYONE

2. I'm pretty sure people will still buy the product without the half dressed individuals if marketed well

I think if we want to change then we need to fix the issues staring right at us.


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