An Open Letter To The Gay Millennial

An Open Letter To The Gay Millennial

Advice from history and current events
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To whom it may concern,

The new way of life observed and practiced by the gay community is free to a comparatively obtuse degree when placed beside its horrific past. However, is this newfound freedom fully appreciated by gay millennials? Are we thankful for the past sacrifices made by ancestral members of our community, or do we simply take them for granted with carelessness and frivolity?

It is important to understand that gay history is full of oppression, suppression, and depression. Indeed, past inquisition, brutality, and the eventual government atrocity of a certain negligence from the 1980's to 1990's committed by the elite of the USA has left a lasting brand upon the working backs of gay, lesbian, trans, bisexual, questioning, and queer people, who ironically serve societies which have, for centuries, encouraged civilian participation in the bodily and emotional destruction of the peoples belonging to this umbrella community.

The back alleys and restrooms of clubs, bars, and restaurants; abandoned houses and house parties alike; rooftops, rivers, forests, fields, and basements all were places of first and last love, as well as bloodshed, fear, and death for anyone even thought of as gay or bisexual. All these places could either be paradise or live nightmares for LGBTQ people, yet only recently, and ever so suddenly, the mental paradigm has turned itself around, and the force of collective empathy has become stronger than ever, gaining in momentum with each new natural discovery. And now with progress and providence, we have fun apps like Grindr.

Unfortunately all this new and sudden freedom, and I use the term loosely, has permitted an air of promiscuity to linger from the olden days when gay men could hardly love one another, and unquestionably not overtly. The most painful part of it is that now we have the opportunity to love and marriage, which stands before us like a pearly gate ajar, however our history seems to have been so damaging that the desire for sex and fear of betrayal is encoded more strongly within our gay genetics than that of love or emotional connection. A demon was born within gay culture, and must now be exorcized by those of us who seek to love and be loved.

You may ask yourself, "what even qualifies a person to be promiscuous?" To this, I impart permission to the reader to consider and think for himself or herself on the meaning of this word. Promiscuity is described similarly to and shares associations with words such as wantonness, licentiousness, and immorality. Wantonness being the lack of consideration for the feelings of others, it is simple to see how promiscuity and promiscuous persons might perpetuate within themselves, and spread to others, a harmful attitude or negatively selfish philosophy which would affect not only sex, but also some favorable aspects of personality such as generosity, and may corrupt things like motivation overall. Concepts in the same manner with licentiousness and immorality, however, are subject to social and cultural opinion, such things essentially being defined as taboos. This brings to question the quality and scope of gay social-consciousness, self-awareness, and prudence.

So how do we go about fixing this? Perhaps by awakening others and ourselves to the reality of intimacy inherently linked with the act of sex, learning to empathize with those who develop romantic feelings for us after such potentially affectionate moments. Perhaps by dissociating our selves from random sex as a recreational activity, and it from gay culture as an indicator of desirability, popularity, or attractiveness. Perhaps again by learning to love more parts of ourselves than the physiological supposed to be used for making love, and finally, by learning to play our predestined and exemplary part of propriety in change through history. To be perfectly clear, the purpose of this letter is not to "shame" or embarrass anyone for their sexual practices, but to implore some degree of thought in the minds of gay men, to spark some insight to consideration of what our culture has become, and who we really believe ourselves to be.


Respectfully yours,
Alique Wicks

Cover Image Credit: palmspringslife.com

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I Am A Female And I Am So Over Feminists

I believe that I am a strong woman, but I also believe in a strong man.
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Beliefs are beliefs, and everyone is entitled to their opinion. I'm all about girl power, but in today's world, it's getting shoved down our throats. Relax feminists, we're OK.

My inspiration actually came from a man (God forbid, a man has ideas these days). One afternoon my boyfriend was telling me about a discussion his class had regarding female sports and how TV stations air fewer female competitions than that of males. In a room where he and his other male classmate were completely outnumbered, he didn't have much say in the discussion.

Apparently, it was getting pretty heated in the room, and the women in the class were going on and on about how society is unfair to women in this aspect and that respect for the female population is shrinking relative to the male population.

If we're being frank here, it's a load of bull.

SEE ALSO: To The Women Who Hate Feminism

First of all, this is the 21st century. Women have never been more respected. Women have more rights in the United States than ever before. As far as sports go, TV stations are going to air the sports that get the most ratings. On a realistic level, how many women are turning on Sports Center in the middle of the day? Not enough for TV stations to make money. It's a business, not a boycott against female athletics.

Whatever happened to chivalry? Why is it so “old fashioned" to allow a man to do the dirty work or pay for meals? Feminists claim that this is a sign of disrespect, yet when a man offers to pick up the check or help fix a flat tire (aka being a gentleman), they become offended. It seems like a bit of a double standard to me. There is a distinct divide between both the mental and physical makeup of a male and female body. There is a reason for this. We are not equals. The male is made of more muscle mass, and the woman has a more efficient brain (I mean, I think that's pretty freaking awesome).

The male body is meant to endure more physical while the female is more delicate. So, quite frankly, at a certain point in life, there need to be restrictions on integrating the two. For example, during that same class discussion that I mentioned before, one of the young ladies in the room complained about how the NFL doesn't have female athletes. I mean, really? Can you imagine being tackled by a 220-pound linebacker? Of course not. Our bodies are different. It's not “inequality," it's just science.

And while I can understand the concern in regard to money and women making statistically less than men do, let's consider some historical facts. If we think about it, women branching out into the workforce is still relatively new in terms of history. Up until about the '80s or so, many women didn't work as much as they do now (no disrespect to the women that did work to provide for themselves and their families — you go ladies!). We are still climbing the charts in 2016.

Though there is still considered to be a glass ceiling for the working female, it's being shattered by the perseverance and strong mentality of women everywhere. So, let's stop blaming men and society for how we continue to “struggle" and praise the female gender for working hard to make a mark in today's workforce. We're doing a kick-ass job, let's stop the complaining.

I consider myself to be a very strong and independent female. But that doesn't mean that I feel the need to put down the opposite gender for every problem I endure. Not everything is a man's fault. Let's be realistic ladies, just as much as they are boneheads from time to time, we have the tendency to be a real pain in the tush.

It's a lot of give and take. We don't have to pretend we don't need our men every once in a while. It's OK to be vulnerable. Men and women are meant to complement one another—not to be equal or to over-power. The genders are meant to balance each other out. There's nothing wrong with it.

I am all for being a proud woman and having confidence in what I say and do. I believe in myself as a powerful female and human being. However, I don't believe that being a female entitles me to put down men and claim to be the “dominant" gender. There is no “dominant" gender. There's just men and women. Women and men. We coincide with each other, that's that. Time to embrace it.

Cover Image Credit: chrisjohnbeckett / Flickr

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6 Things You Notice When You Transfer From A Community College To A University

Transferring to a university from a community college could be the most stressful and rewarding thing you ever do.

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After spending four years of my life taking classes on and off at a community college in the middle of Michigan and living at home with my parents, I finally decided to make the move and transfer to Eastern Michigan University to finish my degree. I still have a lot of work to do, but making this transition really helped me focus on what I need to do.

Here are the top 6 things I noticed after transferring to a big school from a small community college.

1. No matter how easy it might seem to get everything transferred, it's not.

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Maybe I've just had a bad experience, but everyone I've known that has transitioned from a community college to a university seems to have the same horror stories about the process involved with transferring: and it sucks.

Not only is there a ton of paperwork and appointments to go to with various advisers that all tell you different things, but sometimes the credits (a.k.a. the hard work you've put in at your previous school) just don't transfer for whatever reason. It's stressful, and anyone who says it doesn't have some kind of mental capability or superpower that I wish I had.

2. Students get way more involved.

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A big difference between community college and universities is how spirited the students get! At a community college, people pretty much just go to class and then go home. At EMU, it's all about the eagles! There are so many clubs and organizations to get involved in and sporting events to go to, and it's really refreshing to be around people who love their school! It makes a huge difference and makes you feel like you're part of something bigger.

3. There really is no college town like YOUR college town.

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College towns really are a whole other world. Everything on campus is close together, and there are lots of "spots" in town where students hang out regularly. It's almost like each university is in its own little snow globe that is separate from the rest of the world. And I love it.

Ypsilanti, MI is starting to feel like a home away from home for me, and I know lots of students feel the same way about their college towns. Whether it's weekly trivia nights at the local pizza joint or walking to Insomnia Cookies at 1 a.m., every university has staples that make it unique.

4. You don't see people you went to high school with every day.

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My community college was like part two of high school for me. This is because it was so close to where I graduated, and the fact that it's cheap and an easy way to ease into college. I used to see so many people in classes and in the hallways that I already knew from high school, so it wasn't much of a change and didn't really feel like college. (I'm not by any means bashing people who start at community colleges either, I think they're a great place to start.) Since my university is almost two hours from home, there was pretty much no one I already knew here. New city, new school, new people.

5. The friends you make will be longer lasting with stronger bonds.

Kristin Madaj

This is not to say that I didn't enjoy anyone in my classes at community college. I made a few friends there, but it's a lot different. I pretty much only saw those people in class, and then everyone goes home afterward.

At universities, many people live on campus or near it, so they are around a lot more and have time to hang out. I've made some lifelong friends already this year in my classes and especially in the building I live in. I hang out with my roommates every day, and I see the people who live in my building pretty often too. It's a community where we all have a lot in common, and the friendships are lasting.

6. You have a chance to start all over!

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Because everything is new and different when most people transfer to a university, you have a chance to make a whole new start for yourself! No one knows you or your past failures, no one knows who you dated in high school or what your reputation was. New school, new you!

Bottom line: transferring to a university after being at a community college for a few years can be stressful. It can be difficult and a lot different than what you're used to. But it was one of the best things I've ever done. I'm only one semester in and I've already made so many memories and met so many amazing people! And those people will be there for all of your stresses and bad days. If you're getting ready to make the transition or even thinking about it, I hope you fall in love with your new school and home as much as I did.

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