As a low-income, Hispanic student, I rely on scholarships and grants in order to pay for my higher education. Despite receiving generous aid from my institution, the truth is, what will happen after my first year? I cannot predict the future; I do not know what my financial situation will look like in a year. Scholarships like the Gates Millennium Scholarship and QuestBridge give students a peace of mind since they guarantee to cover any unmet need. And while this is ideal for everyone, not every student can receive these scholarships. Whenever I get rejected by a scholarship, my fear grows because there is no way I can afford college without aid and one less scholarship could potentially keep me from attending college.

Affordability is a real concern for students in similar situations. We rely on grants, scholarships, and even loans, to just begin our freshman year. Freshman year is already expensive for a lot of students and in most situations, grants diminish the more time you are in college. Also, there are fewer scholarships for first-year students so those that relied on scholarships during freshman year may not have enough funding anymore for their second year in college. The famous Gates Scholarship removes this fear, allowing its scholars to no longer worry about paying for tuition.

However, I am not a Gates Scholar, neither did I receive any full-ride scholarships. Though my college has given me practically a full-ride for my first year, I live in fear that next year, I am not assured this aid anymore. Yes, I applied to the Gates Scholarship. I wrote the eight lengthy essays, demonstrating my passion and drive to improve not only my life, but also improve the lives of others. A common theme in my essays was that I am going to college to gain knowledge and help others. In short, I demonstrated every side of myself in 8,000 total words. But despite the passion I thought I gave to every word I wrote, it simply was not enough.

You may say I am “salty” about not being selected, and maybe I am. But I’ll tell you something: I do not think I made a mistake on my application just because I was not selected. Rather, I think the selection committee made a mistake. And I want to share this perspective with anyone whoever feels down about not getting a scholarship. If you know that you showed your true identity in your essays and that you truly gave it your all, then you are not the one who messed up. It was the committee’s inability to see that drive that led to your rejection.

When I am a successful journalist/foreign service officer/admissions counselor/whatever I end up becoming, the scholarships like Gates will regret not accepting me because then, they cannot attribute my success to them. And same goes for everyone else who feels that they did give it their all on their scholarship applications. If you continue giving the same effort in everything you do, then you will be successful. It may be a bumpy road without that full-ride scholarship, but real troopers do not give up. Make it your goal to make the scholarships committees regret not funding your education. Trust me, it makes you feel a lot better.

So what do I want to say to Gates and other scholarships that rejected me? You will regret it later. I am sure the awardees are very deserving, but so are many of the students that were rejected. It is OK, you will see me in 20 years being a successful adult, even without your prestigious scholarship.