Dear Friend,
A few months ago, when i had to move out of your life, you were mad and maybe devastated. But there were reasons why I left, and I am so sorry if you don’t understand. Mentally and emotionally I couldn’t keep you in my life, and some of it was what happened between us. Maybe you didn’t realize how much you had hurt me at times. I know that at one point I told you that one of the things you did I could try to be ok with, but looking back I realized I can NEVER be “Okay” with some of your actions. You went behind my back and when there were times I wanted to fix things with us but you took it as me attacking you. I am sorry if me wanting to help make our relationship better comes off as me attacking you.
Up until I left we did so much together, we went out to get ice cream, planned our schedules for next semester, we were there for one another when boys broke our hearts, we baked together, and I thought I could tell you anything. But those were just some of the “good things” we did. There were times where it felt like you were trying to baby me. You tried to tell me who I could and could not fall for because they were in a certain “jock” category or played a certain sport. There were times where it felt like you were telling me who I could and could not be friends with. Yea we may have had some good times, but I felt like there were times that no matter what I did, I never lived up to your expectations. I felt like times I couldn’t be around you because I was afraid of making you mad.
Lets face the facts: our relationship was extremely toxic. There were days that you got made at me over nothing. Your “support” seemed more like nagging. I became tired of you telling me what I did wrong, and making me feel like my struggles were invalid because you were going through something different that may have been a little tougher. I wanted a best friend to count on and to be at my future wedding and see my future children. But, God had different plans. He made us different, too different. We are just different enough that living together became impossible. You made me feel weak, inhuman, and like I didn’t matter at the time that I needed you most.
What happened cannot be reversed. It may be years before I can trust you again. But no matter what happens I will never stop caring, I may seem to care less now, but I still care. Even though right now our paths are different now, they may cross again sometime, somewhere down the line. I’ll always remember the lessons you taught me and all the good times we had together.
From,
The Friend That Moved On
