Dearest Former Boyfriend,

There's not a moment that goes by without me thinking about you. Reminiscing on the good times that we once shared. I miss the times when we were together, and shared each moment with each other.

I know that it was just a high school relationship, and it shouldn't hold this much of a burden in my heart — yet here I am, writing this letter. I always told you that there was something special about you. You had a way of making me smile on my darkest days. Even when you were mad at me, I couldn't help but smile when your name popped up on my notifications.

My heart would skip a beat every time I was near you. When we held hands, I would skip a breath. And when we kissed, sparks flew everywhere. I was nothing but ecstatic when we were together — which was rare because we both didn't have our license yet.

I knew our breakup was soon to come, but it was hard for me to embrace myself for it. High school was full of temptation, and we always went to the next best thing. I do apologize from the deepest bowels in my heart on how I reacted to it. I was crazy about you, and I did not react well - at all.

It was hard seeing you move on to other guys. You were the first guy I actually dated, and through the process of us dating I came out to my friends and family. There were some days where I saw something on your social media — with another guy — and a wave of sadness would hit me. It was a long summer without you in my life, and I thought it would last forever.

We went a long while without talking, due to the big fight we had resulting from the breakup. And when you finally forgave me (which I am forever grateful for), the good memories from the past resurfaced. We went to prom together, we began to hang out more, and we both began to develop feelings all over.

This was when I truly realized that this was all because of fate. We began to act as if we were dating again when we weren't. Then, when we kissed again after after-prom all of the past sparks were reignited.

A small voice in the back of my head told me that this was poisonous. I knew that you were talking to other guys, but I let myself continue those feelings. I also know you did as well. There was even talk about us dating again, but we both had to pretend that we were against it to settle our feelings.

Now, here we are in the present. We're becoming closer friends, yet we still hide the feelings we have for each other. Yes, it hurts seeing you with other men when the taste of your lips still lingers on mine. But I will wait until it is my turn once again, no matter how long that will be. I always said that you were special to me, and I would never want to hurt you again.

I love you to the moon and back. And just know, that I will always be your little dork.

Stay Beautiful,

Your Ex