As I wake up each morning and make my way to my bathroom to begin my morning routine, I can’t help but stop and peer into the mirror. Staring into the mirror I see the reflection of a damaged girl looking back at me. I can’t help but see all of the emotional scars left behind from a past that can never be forgotten. I see the first guy who broke my heart, a best friend who let me down, the countless times I was bullied and all the times I couldn’t find the strength to push forward. The thoughts running through my head are the voices and memories mocking me and reminding me that I'm not good enough. Then I remind myself that my scars don’t define me. Every time I look at myself in the mirror I repeat over and over again “My past will not define me. I am stronger than I believe. I will use my strength to push toward becoming a better me.” I was at a point in my life that I didn't think I'd ever get out of but then I was finally happy. That was a feeling I thought would never happen again. I didn’t use my scars as a crutch. Instead, I used them as a way to motivate myself to be happy again.
If you are at a point in your life in which you feel like you can’t push forward, I want you to remember your beautiful. I want you to look past the guy who told you that you're worthless and the friends who let you down. Why? Because they do not define you. I want you to look past the times when you were so far in a rut that you could not push on and the times you were bullied. Those moments do not define you.
Rather than having feelings of self-loathing for your past, embrace your future. Do not use your past as a crutch or reason to hold yourself back from life. Right now you might think about the guy who promised you forever but broke your heart a few months later? Or, you might think about the guy who used you for sexual acts and never contacted you after that? Remind yourself it didn’t work out because he didn’t deserve your time or heart. It wasn’t meant to because there is someone else better out there for you. The friends who let you down were put in your life for you to learn how to trust again. Not everyone who walks into your life is going to remain in your life. The way you handled the times you were bullied in school made you who you are today. You endured one of the hardest battles you can go through in life and I’m proud of you for that. You proved that you're better than them. Learn from your experiences and embrace your future.
I know it may feel as though you’re in a never ending rut but I promise you it gets better. All of the times that life brought you down were put in your life to bring you back up. Right now you need to put yourself first, which is something that you may never have done before. If you're anything like me, then you might think this is impossible. As a caring person, putting myself before others is challenging. I can’t promise you that it’s going to be easy but I can promise you it’ll be worth it. Each and every morning I want you to look in the mirror and remind yourself as I once did. It is than you will find your inner beauty and true potential.
