An Open Letter To The Boy Who Sexually Abused Me
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Health and Wellness

An Open Letter To The Boy Who Sexually Abused Me

You know what you did to me

An Open Letter To The Boy Who Sexually Abused Me

Before reading this, this could trigger some people. This letter mentions and describes sexual abuse. Thank you.


Do you remember me? Or am I just another random person to you? Do you remember the summer when you were about 11 years old and your family was helping build a race car? Do you remember the 5-year-old who you used to hang out with? That 5-year-old girl was me. I was the little girl who was trying to learn how to ride a bike without training wheels. You told me that you could help me learn. I remember thinking how exciting that was. I was going to be able to ride my bike like a big girl.

Do you remember what you made me promise? You told me that the only way that you could teach me how to ride a bike was that I had to do something for you as well. I asked you what it was and you told me that you will show me the next time I come to the garage. I smiled and said okay.

The next time I was at the garage, which was either once a week or a few time a week, you asked if I was ready to learn how to ride a bike. I got excited thinking that I was going to be a big girl. You took my hand and lead me to a building that was next door to the garage. We walked behind it. I asked you what we were doing here. You told me that for me to be able to ride a bike I had to do something for you first. You pulled down your pants and told me I had to suck your penis in order for you to teach me how to ride a bike. I was hesitant at first but thought about how I wanted to be a big girl. So I did.

I have no memory of learning how to ride a bike at all that summer. For the whole summer, I remember that. I do remember one time telling you no. You tried to edge me on, but I stood firm and told you no. You then yelled at me, telling me that you won’t teach me how to ride a bike. You then ran from where you were and jumped on your bike and rode away. I suddenly felt scared. Scared that I had done something wrong. I got scared thinking you were going to tell everyone. So I screamed out that I will do it, and for the rest of the summer that is what I did.

One night I was looking out the window as I was riding with my grandparents. I saw some woods and it reminded me of the ones the surrounded the garage. I told my grandmother that it reminded me of the yours and mine game. She asked me what game, and I told her what you had me do. Soon my dad knew and I never saw you again and I got scared.

You took something from me that I will never be able to get back. You took my childhood innocence. Every day I am haunted by the memories of that summer. I have a hard time trusting people, afraid that they will treat me like that again. I can sometimes feel your hand in mine, but I can also still feel your hand on the back of my head. I break down and cry every once in awhile. I am scared every day that I might run into you.

I know that you are probably wondering why I haven't said your name, because you know who you are, and you know what you did to me. Even though I have had the flashbacks and I have fear every day, I am not going to have the memories or have you control my life. I have taken a stand against it. I am going to live the life that I want to live, and you don’t have a say in that. I am not saying it’s going to be easy to trust people, but I know one day, I will have a relationship and I will not longer be haunted by your memories.

I am going to do everything in my power to make sure that there are no more little girls falling into traps boys like you have set for them. The end of the summer was the best time for me. I remember being able to jump on my bike, without training wheels, and ride away. Ride away from the awful summer, and most of all ride away from you, leaving you in the dust.

If you or someone you know has been, is being sexually abused please call the National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-4673. They are open 24 hours and want to help!
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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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