I’m sorry. I can’t imagine what it’s like to feel absolutely nothing. It must be a cold, painful existence. I truly feel bad that you might never know what it’s like to look at someone and wish nothing more than to make them happy for the rest of their life. I hope that someday you will. I hope that you find someone that makes you feel the way I have felt for you. I don’t understand why you’re so mad at life. You hold so much anger and I hope that you might be relieved of that someday.
I truly loved you. I gave you everything I had and then some. I understand that you couldn’t do that for me. I get that somewhere, deep inside, you’ve been hurt by something, maybe someone. Maybe it’s the horror you’ve seen. I’m sorry for the things that have damaged you. I wish I could make it better, and I would if you would let me, but you won’t. I almost wish you had never told me of the devastation and terror you had to experience just a few years ago. I carry it with me every day.
I understand that you can’t give me your heart. I fought for it for so long and now I’m tired. I’m sorry I can’t do it any longer. I know that under the rugged exterior and the acting, you’re a decent human being with a heart. You care about people, even if you won’t act like it. You’re vulnerable, but so are all of us. I wish you would stop pretending to be such a jerk. We could have been so great, but I understand that you are unable to see any potential. I understand that you might have wanted to be with me at some point, but you just can’t.
I’m afraid I won’t be around when you finally figure out what you need. I simply can’t continue to damage myself trying to be there for you. I care, and I probably always will, but I can no longer worry about you. I have spent so many nights crying about the vicious things you say to me, and nobody is worth the pain you’ve shadowed me in. My whole year was consumed with days of wondering if I’d get to talk to you, wondering if you actually liked me that day, wondering when, not if, we would start fighting. It has mentally and emotionally exhausted me.
I just want to ask one thing of you; please, please let me move on. I can’t handle this back and forth anymore. So please don’t text me. Please don’t call me. If you see me, don’t say hello. Just let me forget you exist. Let me forget the way it felt to be next to you. If you ever felt anything for me, understand this is what I need. I wish you only the best.
