Dear Boy,
I say this with the kindest words possible. I am so glad that you are out of my life. You took part of me when you left. I remember the good times with you, but there were so many bad memories that outweigh the good. I tried to leave a few times, but I couldn’t get myself to do it. I thought you were the one. I thought we would spend the rest of our lives together. I thought we had future plans together. I was wrong. I am so glad to be wrong.
When it all started, we were close friends. We spent a lot of time together. We knew we would be there for each other whenever we needed support. Things were great, and we decided to become a couple. All of the dates were fun, and we had a blast going on double dates with our friends from high school. We got serious pretty fast, and you said you wanted us to get married one day. I felt the same because we were in love.
As the relationship progressed, we started having little tiffs about stupid topics such as what shows to watch or where we would go on our dates. Then, during our freshmen year of college, I found out that you were talking to another girl at your school because you could foresee us breaking up soon. I gave you a chance to fess up about it, but you didn’t. Instead you lied, and I caught you in that lie. Soon after, I forgave you. We moved past it, and things were okay again, until the fighting got worse. Soon we were fighting every day we spent together. Things were not okay. I lost my trust in you, and you did not care anymore. I was having a rough time at school, and you were annoyed that I was crying so much to you. I was dealing with a lot of stress and needed comforting, but you pushed me aside and wanted to play videogames or spend time with your friends instead of me. When I got you to pay attention to me, it was because I made you angry or upset. It broke my heart to see us this way.
As things continued to get worse between us, I noticed how unhappy you were. I was unhappy myself, but I had hoped we would make it through. You had given me a promise ring for Valentine’s Day one year, and I really wanted to cherish that as a promise for our future. Then, on my birthday, we were on a double date with my best friend and her boyfriend. She was talking about promise rings when you said that you did not believe in them. You thought they were worthless. That was like stabbing me because it meant that your gift to me was simply nothing to you. You actually didn’t care anymore. You had given me flowers for my birthday and a handmade card, which was a simple and sweet gesture. However, the care was not put into it at all. The flowers honestly looked half dead, and the card had little thought in it. It looked like you had spent maybe five minutes on my gift, which made me feel worthless. You did not care about me anymore. That was when I knew we were not going to last.
About a week later, we took a walk together, in the hopes of enjoying nature and getting some exercise. We were distant the entire time. That night, when you dropped me off, I did not kiss you. I walked away, never looking back. We had some text conversations that night, and we decided to go on a break. Breaks never work, which we knew from watching Friends. We tried the break anyway. It was supposed to last for a week. A week of not talking hurt me. I tried talking to you and you wouldn’t answer. Then, you finally decided to answer me on Easter. You wished me a happy holiday when I didn’t answer. I called back later that night, and we broke up. The break up was mutual, but the feelings I had for you were real. I know you might not have felt the same way, but I truly loved you.
For a long time after that, I was strong. I refused to be that upset when I knew that we needed to break up. Secretly, I thought we might get back together in the future. That has not happened. I always tried to stay strong because when I became weak in front of you, you decided you did not care. I have tried to stay strong, but our relationship broke me. You broke me. I won’t even call you a man because of all the lies you told me. You are a boy, and you always will be in my eyes. I hope that you can grow up and maybe make another girl happy in the future, but you are simply a boy right now. College is about finding yourself. You made me lose myself in college. Only after we broke up was I able to find myself. I hope that you found yourself, too. I hope that someone broke you as much as you broke me. I hope that you learn from your mistakes and become a better person.
I know that I am still in the wrong for some of the problems in our relationship, but I have grown from that. I became the person I knew I could be, and I am happy. I am learning about how to be independent and love myself. In fact, as you have an entire year left, I am graduating early from college to start my professional life. I am doing so well on my own. Two years ago, I would have never thought I would be this happy without you. A year ago, I was starting to learn how to live without you. Now, I am so happy to be without you. I felt like Meredith Grey, drowning when things couldn't get better. You made my mental health deteriorate so much that I was unsure of how I could go on after you. I still have struggles on some days, but I know that things happened for a reason. We are over, and I am so happy to be better without you. You may have broken me, but I am now fixed. I put all the pieces back together, and I am truly happy with myself.
Thank you for breaking me and thank you for leaving.
Sincerely,
The girl you broke
