Dear "Best Friend",

This was the last thing I expected to be dealing with in such a new and exciting season of life. College, new friends, independence, some of the best years of my life so close. However, I did not think that I would be dealing with the pain that came with my "best friend" leaving me in the dust, like I was nothing. I knew our relationship would change, but I didn't think that it would become one sided, held together by my effort, and eventually come to an unexpected end, at least on my part.

When it was my time to leave home, I was so excited to share everything about my new experiences with a person that I loved so much, only to find out that you didn't have time to hear about my ups and downs in one of the scariest parts of my life. Our friendship of 6 years had been so much fun and I was ready to keep counting, and you weren't, and that's okay. I just wish you would've told me.

I wish you would've told me that I wasn't as important as your friends of less than a year. I wish you would've told me that I didn't need to go out of my way to hang out because you didn't want to see me anyway. I wish you would've told me so I could have done more with my family instead of trying to make things work with you. I wish you told me that I was the only one trying because the relationship was dying.

I was so confused when things started to change, and our time together went from days to minutes. I blamed myself and who I was and started to act like someone I wasn't to make sure I was fitting in, being the friend that you wanted me to be. I don't know why, but your opinion meant everything and I wish it didn't.

It looked easy for you. I was easily replaced. You decided you didn't need me anymore, and that's okay, I just wish you would've told me so I stopped bending over backwards. And then I met people that taught me to be strong, independent, and not take anything from anyone. I decided to stop making an effort to see what would happen. I can't say I was surprised, but I can say that I was disappointed, more than I ever have been.

We would only do things if there was more than one incentive for you, more than one person to see. I wasn't even important enough to you to hang out just us two. We used to spend days together, and now I can't even get you to hang out with me, just me, and take me for who I am. I guess people change, and I didn't realize your change didn't involve me.

I realized that the only reason we had a relationship was because of me. If I didn't reach out to you, try to make plans, or ask how your day was, we wouldn't talk. I realized that the relationship had become one sided. I realized that my spot in your heart marked "best friend" was filled by someone else that you saw as better. I guess I was just a phase to you. I was no longer the second choice, I had been replaced. Completely. And I should have seen it coming.

I'm heartbroken. Having such a big part of my life leave me in the dust has made me beat myself up, filter myself, and put myself down.

I had gotten to the point that I was scared to tell you things, because I was scared of the judgement and the words that you would say. That is when I decided to stop making an effort, when I realized this relationship was toxic and more like maintenance than a friendship.

I wish I had realized that I am perfect the way I am, and I don't need to seek approval from anybody. I should always be myself, whether I'm loud, or annoying, high maintenance, out going, loving, caring, or witty, I am me and a best friend should love every thing I am. You didn't, and I unknowingly filtered myself into a person I didn't know. I'm done being someone I'm not, and it feels good.

You might still view me as a friend, but the lack of respect that has been shown to me makes me so excited to find even more people that appreciate me for who I am. Appreciate me for me. I have a few already and can't wait to find more. I hope for you that life is everything you've ever dreamt of, but I hope you realize that sometimes you have the best and there's no reason to search for something better. You deserve the best, but so do I, so I am done putting in the effort to keep a sinking ship above water.

I'm not upset, mad, or resentful. I'm dissapointed that you didn't value the friendship the same way I did.

Sincerely,

Your "best friend".