Here I am, in my bedroom, staring at a blank word document, at 4:27 a.m., while you are 271 miles away at orientation in Charleston. For some reason, I am feeling overwhelmed with gratitude for you as I am scrolling through all of our pictures. With this, I feel it is just necessary for me to express my appreciation while I have all of these thoughts in my head. So here goes.
It all started with us absolutely hating each other, who would have known 2 years later we would be attached at the hip. What class did we have? ACT Prep…well it wasn’t necessarily a class if we opted out half the time to go to a cookout, or buy fish from PetSmart, or go do the many other idiotic things we have done.
Still, to this day we are inseparable and do the craziest things that I will cherish the memories of forever. You keep me wild. You bring out the fun parts in me, and you make me feel as though there isn’t anything that I cannot do, and for that, thank you.
Now, I believe that there are special people that show up in your life at the right time that help you through your toughest battles and stay for the beauty that comes out of it. That is just what you were.
For the most part, I am an upbeat person, I love to make everyone happy, or in other teen lingo, “turnt” or “lit”. However, there was a time when doing so wasn’t so easy. There was a time all I wanted to do was lay in my bed and cry. I wouldn’t want to eat for days, and wouldn’t answer anyone’s texts.
You were the calm in my storm. No matter how much I denied all of your accusations, you knew I had a problem, and you had no delays in wanting to get me help. You never forgot to tell me I was beautiful, and it was in the middle of all of that chaos that you saved me. You saved me from the demons in my mind and the abuse I began to put my body through.
It was in that moment, sitting on the porch swing at your house, both in tears, that I knew you were my person. The only person ever brave enough to endure my darkness to ensure me that there was a light. In all the ways I hated myself, you told me twice as many as to why I was worth so much and special.
Sitting there both sobbing, you holding my hand telling me, “we are going to get through this”. The keyword here is “we”. You never made me go through anything alone… and that is truly what a best friend is.
Over the course of two years, you’ve instilled so much confidence and strength in me that I’ve never had…and never dreamed I could have gathered. For that thank you.
I always want to say how appreciative I am for the undeniable fact that you loved me at my worst…when I couldn’t love myself even. That someone literally obliterated me, and somehow you managed to pick up all the pieces and glue me back together.
I also want to thank you for all the harsh words you have said, whether I had to wiggle them out of you or if you have given them on your own. No matter what you think, I needed to hear them. Yes, I won’t lie, sometimes they stung, nevertheless I wouldn’t want to hear them from anyone except for you.
Whether it be late night FaceTime calls or early morning reminder texts to bring you shoes, an article of clothing, to buy you juice on the way to school, or a request for words of encouragement. I wouldn’t want to have to “put up with” anybody else on this earth.
You are beautiful beyond compare, and extraordinary inside and out, and on the contrary of what you might believe you’ll find someone who is at least half as crazy as you and I will be so happy that day. You know me better than I know myself and I don’t know if that’s awesome or actually terrifying.
Through the good, the bad, and the ugly, somehow you just understood everything without me having to give an explanation. All we have to do is look at each other and we know exactly what is going through the other ones’ mind.
Every day I spend with you, I am a better person and for that, among all I am grateful. In addition to all this, I hope that if you ever believe that nobody believes in you, is proud of you, or supports you, always know that I will. I will always, always, always be your biggest fan, even when your 4 ½ hours away from me.
I hope you never feel like you are not beautiful, because trust me, you have one of the purest souls I have ever interacted with, and that shines through your complexion every day. Just your laugh alone can light up the room, and even though you can be literally one of the most sarcastic, rude, and harsh people, you do it so gracefully you couldn’t even tell.
If I hadn’t have had you, who knows where I would be today, so thank you for not giving up or leaving. I love you more than any of these words can even express, even on the days I absolutely cannot stand you, I couldn’t think of anyone else I would rather want to be my therapist, broken heart healer, bff, partner in crime, and most importantly, other half.
I am incredibly uncertain about most things in life, but I am positive that we will be friends forever. You my main, Jim, never forget it. Miss you already!
-Your main one, Jack<3
