Hey,

I see you. I see you sitting there on your bed, clutching that old stuffed leopard that used to make you feel so safe. I see you holding back those loud sobs so your neighbor doesn't call the resident advisor. I see you, and I want to tell you something. A few things actually. I can't begin to know why you're crying; it's always something different isn't it? But here are a few reminders to get you through the night.

I want to remind you that you have a good life. It may not be the best it's ever been at this very moment, but it's still good and tomorrow is coming. Tomorrow you're going to wake up, and go to class. Tomorrow, your mom is going to send you a cute (if poorly shot) picture of your dog, and you'll laugh even with that lump in your throat. Tomorrow, you'll be driving to the grocery store and your old favorite song will come on the radio and transport you back in time, and for five shining minutes you'll be singing and everything will be okay again. Tomorrow, you will find something to be happy about. It could be that good grade you made on that in-class essay; it could be that guy that's walking his adorable dog across campus, not even knowing that he's making your day a little brighter, or it could be a funny snapchat from your best friend. Tomorrow you will eat at least two meals and try to take the stairs. And tomorrow if you end up back here again, remember what made you happy today.

I want to remind you that you are loved. I know it doesn't feel like it, believe me I know. Those dark, anxious thoughts take over and you're convinced that everyone and everything is constantly annoyed by everything you do. But that isn't true. Your mom loves you, and if you called her right now she would make sure to tell you so. Your dad, your sisters, your aunt and your grandma, they all love you so much. They all love you in their own way, and sometimes it's hard to see, but they love you and they miss you right now just as much as you miss them. Your friends love you. They show you they love you by sending you those funny pictures, calling you when big things happen in their lives, they miss seeing you every day and they see things all the time that make them wish you were there. You don't annoy them with your text messages and I promise you aren't as clingy as you think. Some of them are better at showing love than others, and some of them are just as scared and anxious as you are about love. That's okay, try to understand that about them just like they understand it about you. And most importantly, you love you. I know I have to remind you of this all the time, but it's really true. You love your crazy hair and your great singing voice. You love the way you smile and how you are really good at writing notes in class. You are great, maybe a little unstable at times, but really, truly great just the way you are.

Lastly, I want to remind you that things get better. Not just tomorrow, and not just finding something to be happy about today. But really, big bad things do eventually get better. Remember how much worse things were last year? Remember how this happened every night instead of every two or three nights, and remember how you made it better. You made plans for the future, you forged a way out of this and look, you only have a little bit more time in this dark place. You can make it; you can find little things to be happy about each day until there are big things to be happy about every day. Keep looking at that big bright future, and eventually, it's going to be at your door. I never thought I could be this happy again, but looking back now I hope you know that things get better. You can keep going, I believe in you, I really do.

So here's what you do. First, get out your computer, your phone, or that blank paper on your desk and write down the things that are bothering you tonight. Write them all out in order from biggest to smallest and really look at them. Look at what you can fix right now, and look at what will have to wait. Look and see if you're really anxious about things you can't change at all, and cross them off the list. Maybe you will find a way to change those later, but for now focus on what you can do tonight or tomorrow. If that isn't working, text or call your best friend. I promise you aren't annoying them. Think about what you would do if they were calling you right now. Would you be annoyed and not want to listen to their problems? No, of course you would be there for them, because that's what best friends do. Keep telling yourself "I can make it through the next hour" and you will, and before you know it the next hour will be sunrise and it's a whole new day. Finally, find something fun to watch or read. Personally, I always go for "Parks and Recreation" on Netflix, but you feel free to make your own choice.

Take a deep breath. You are loved, and your life is not over. You are beautiful and strong and you can make it through this night. I know it's hard, and I know it seems like nothing is alright and never will be again. I know it will be, I know you will be. I know this because I was you, I am still you sometimes. I always will be. You are okay, take another breath, find something to smile about. The world will be brighter tomorrow. But for tonight, just know that it's okay to cry.